The State That I Am In
by doorist
Summary: Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, cos I'm stupid and blind... after Cody intervenes in Randy's match at the rumble, well let's just say some stuff goes down... joint drabble tree fic on LJ with with alethea293, m/m slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** THE STATE THAT I AM IN  
**Rating:**M  
**Pairing: **Randy/Cody  
**Authors:**** alethea293**and**vyvrik**

**A/N:** This is a joint fic started a paragraph at a time when we got a little bit carried away in the drabble tree over at the CRKO comm. It's not finished yet and it's fast approaching 20,000 words so we're posting it a chapter at a time. We started writing it just after the royal rumble so there's quite a few references in there about what went down... the strangling, the locker room scene afterwards that we never got to see... The title is a Belle and Sebastian song...

I gave myself to sin  
And I've been there and back again  
I gave myself to Providence  
The state that I am in

Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me  
'cos I'm stupid and blind  
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boys empty mind

..............................

Cody knew that he was in deep trouble when he slumped back towards the Legacy locker-room after being eliminated in the Rumble, ignoring Ted all the way. Due to the excitement of the match itself he had momenttarily forgotten about what had happened earlier. Now it was all coming back, crashing onto him like a tidal wave.  
He swallowed hard when he paused at the door, turning to see if Ted was still behind him but the last he saw of him was that he hurried towards the trainer's office.  
"Coward!" He muttered under his breath, suddenly unsure if he was really ready for the things to come.  
His eyes were trained on the floor as he stepped inside their locker-room, waiting for Randy to make the first step.

The feel of the hands around his neck, choking the very life out of him, the crazed look in the cold grey eyes, he knew it was too late, knew he was past the point of any triforce saving him now. His own eyes were bulging out of his head, and he was scared, but more than that, he was sorry, he knew he was at fault, he knew he'd been the cause, but he'd never expected this, not from this man, not like this. "I'm sorry," he struggled to gasp, the words barely managing to reach the air with what he was sure was his last breath.

Randy could only scoff at the lame and utterly pointless excuse from the youngest Legacy member. Were they even a group anymore? He had no idea what to believe, what to think. All he knew for sure that the two men he was supposed to trust more than anyone else, who were supposed to have his back betrayed him. At least Cody had the guts to face him while Ted was missing; obviously waiting for him to cool down. His focus returned to Cody who let out another faint gasp, the large blue eyes looking at him, pleading.  
"Randy... please... can't... breathe."  
His grip loosened for a moment, letting Cody have one glorious lung-full of air before he pressed down harder than before. "Guess what? I. Don't. Care."  
Leaning closer until their faces were less than an inch apart he searched Cody's eyes for the truth. But right now there was nothing but fear. And panic. "Seems like Ted only saves you when it's for the camera."  
Randy let go, already walking away when Cody fell to the floor.

He just couldn't believe it, he just didn't know what to think, who to believe. It was the last thing he ever expected from Cody. He thought... he didn't know what he thought, not really, but it definitely wasn't this. It wasn't just betrayal, it went deeper than that, he had never felt so hurt, so destroyed, not in his entire life. His mind flashed back to the look on Cody's face when the commentators announced the disqualification, maybe it was true, maybe he really didn't know... but he'd told Ted! He warned him not to come! Was that it? He'd told... Ted. Had Ted played them both? Were his heroics all for show? Cos where the fuck was he now? When all the shit was going down he wasn't man enough to even be there? Randy turned and looked back at the younger man curled up on the floor, coughing, still gasping for air, violent red hand prints already bruising the pristine skin around his neck. Randy grimaced for a mere sliver of a second at the sight before anger surged through him again, "How could you do this to me?" he screamed, "How Cody? HOW?" He was suddenly bent over him again, the young man cowering below him, but as the frightened blue eyes looked up into his own he felt himself deflate, he felt his resolve weaken, had he been wrong all along? He really didn't know anymore. "I thought we were friends Cody, I thought we were friends..." he whispered, clenching his eyes tight shut as he walked away.

Cody scrambled back against the unforgiving metal of the lockers when Randy charged at him, his voice furious with anger. But it wasn't the fact that Randy yelled him it was the way he looked at him. Randy had never looked so disgusted, so sick of a person.  
"I wasn't... I wasn't thinking..." Woah, that sounded incredibly stupid even to his ears and surely wouldn't help making Randy feel any better. And then he said it; maybe it was because he wasn't yelling a him but those simple words hurt him as just as much. "We... we are... I... I am... Randy... I never meant... it... it wasn't supposed to be that way." He stumbled over the words in his haste to get them out, not caring that the edge in his voice was obvious, that he was close to crying. "You have to... you have to believe me."

"I don't know what to believe Cody... I don't know if I can... I don't know if I want to..."  
Cody thought he actually felt his heart break at the fractured syllables reaching his ears, tearing his heart and wringing in between cold fingers, ripping it in two with no regrets, the impact was a million times worse than when Beth left him mere days ago, and now he didn't know what else to say, what else he could do to make things right, everything back to normal, back to the way it was. Randy was all he had left.

"I'm sorry..." he choked, stumbled over his words, his voice cracking, desperation taking over, ready to do something drastic to make him see, to prove himself.  
"I know." Randy sighed, the sound of a man much older than his years, the sound of the weight of the world on his shoulders, a world which no longer made sense to him, that had been turned upside down on it's head and he didn't know why. It's not what he wanted, not at all, he wanted to turn back time, for things to be, normal, the way they were, before. Little did he know the exact same thoughts were running through Cody's head right at that second.  
He took a deep breath, turning away, shoulders heaving, he'd never felt so defeated. With a final look over his shoulder at the broken man on the floor, looking exactly the way he himself felt, he whispered as he walked away, "So am I..."

Cody pushed himself up with surprising agility, considering that he had take a few more bumps than he was supposed to but he ignored the burn in his lungs when he hurried after Randy, grabbing a shirt from his bag. "Wait..."  
To his surprise Randy actually stopped and turned around, his eyes still dancing with the hurt and betrayal of tonight's events.  
"I'm really really so-"  
Randy held up his hand. "Don't, okay? The more I hear you apologizing the more often I'm reminded about what went down... so don't."  
Cody nodded, swallowing hard. "Alright... but you gotta believe me..."  
"It'll take time... just give me time to figure things out, okay?" His tone was gentle and Cody sighed softly when Randy's hand curled around his neck, not hurting him like just moments ago. It was the sign of affection Randy only showed to him.

And it made him melt, he couldn't help it, the way it just instantly calmed him. He couldn't help but feel that it had a similar effect on Randy too, the way he visibly seemed to relax as he gently kneaded the tense muscle beneath his fingers.  
"You know... I never thought it'd be you, that'd do something like this to me, Cody, I thought you..." he shook his head, raking his fingers over his stubbled scalp.  
Cody didn't dare speak, watching the torment still playing out over his tense features as he waited with baited breath for him to finish his sentence. But he waited in vain as Randy sighed heavily instead, turning disappointed stormy grey eyes to lock with palest hesitant blue.  
"I..."  
"Don't. Just... just don't,"  
"But..."  
"Cody!" Grey eyes flashed dark again in sudden fury as the fingers tensed against his skin, tighter and tighter then releasing him altogether, "Just leave it! Fucking leave it! Okay?" It was almost a plea by the last word, his hands once again softly curling around their familiar spot, and Cody couldn't help but lean into the touch, Randy stroking gently as his eyes softened again.

It was well past mid-night when Cody couldn't sit around and fidget any longer in his room alone; Ted hadn't resurfaced since he took the turn towards the medic's room.  
He knew that everyone else on the rosters were downstairs emptying the bar or somewhere in a club, using the time when all three brands travelled together. And though he had received several invitations to join them he had declined each of them. The mere thought of having a good time when he was eaten by guilt and the torment of possibly losing Randy was simply not working out.

After rubbing his damp hands on his sweatpants Cody grabbed the bottle of vodka from his suitcase, which he had originally packed for the sure celebration but he might as well drown his sorrows.  
He downed about a third of the bottle, finally smiling again as the world started spinning.

The morning dawned bright and early as usual, regular as clockwork the sun crept over the horizon and began to seep gently through the gap in the curtains. It played across the peaceful features of the man laying sprawled on the floor, in the same spot he'd fallen when he passed out the night before, empty bottle of vodka still in hand, and still no relief from his inner turmoil, even in sleep. The dreams occupying his unconscious were as torrid as the real events of the night before, and when he finally awoke, he'd be at a loss to explain what was truth and what was in his head. The alarm continued to beep from its place on the bedside table, yet still he didn't stir, the sunlight now cruelly intent upon his skin, yet still, he didn't stir. The eventual banging on his door did nothing to rouse him either, nor the shouting of his own name, gradually rising in volume as concern grew evident in the worried voice.

Randy knew that something was off when Cody didn't reply to the first three calls to his cellphone or the calls that he made downstairs from the front-desk to the room directly after seeing that Ted was nursing his hang-over with a few guys from the RAW roster and didn't recall Cody ever checking in at all.  
So it was upon him to get the youngest member of Legacy up and running if they wanted a chance to still be on time for the next venue, not to mention that they had a meeting with creative about the continuation of their story-line.

After a long ten minutes of loud banging from his side and absolutely no response from Cody he headed back down to get a second key.  
He had a bit of trouble for a moment, a weird feeling overcoming him, making his hands unsteady as he fought with the lock.

Finally the little green light buzzed him through and he practically fell into the room, almost stumbling in his haste not to step on the prone underwear clad body he found lying on the floor at the end of the bed.  
"Shit! Fuck!" He was crouching down at his side in an instant, the empty vodka bottle telling him all he needed to know.

"Motherfucker..." Randy growled, relief flooding through him as he tried to remove it but Cody only clutched it tighter and clasped it to his chest defensively as he rolled heavily to his side, seemingly trying to avoid the sun finally penetrating his senses. But not enough to wake him as Randy discovered, watching him curl into a ball and drunkenly murmur something incomprehensible.

"Fucking little bastard, scared the fucking shit outta me! Come on! Wake up!" He slapped him gently about the cheeks to rouse him but Cody just groaned and snuggled further into the bottle, burying his face under his arm.  
Randy looked at his watch, groaning himself as he saw the time, shaking him harder but still not getting the response he was looking for as Cody started to lightly snore instead.  
Sitting back on his haunches he debated what to do, quickly heading into the bathroom and filling a glass with cold water.

Standing over him he looked down reluctantly, "I really don't wanna have to do this buddy..." and knelt back down, deciding to give violent shaking one last try. But still it was to no avail as Cody just grumbled something and sighed, stretching his entire body out on the carpet, sunlight bouncing off the naked skin, rendering the white boxers practically see through. Randy smirked, an idea coming to him that was sure to garner some kind of reaction at least, and poured the entire glass upside down over his groin.

Cody shot up to his feet within a second only to be defeated by gravity and was badly knocked off equilibirium as he crashed head-first into the table that stood just a few feet away.  
His hand shot up to where his head had hit the hard wood, groaning when the already throbbing pain intensified. The world came into view, hazy and unfocused and for a brief moment he wondered if he had gone to heaven as Randy stood over him, his head basked in sunlight. 'He looks like an angel' he thought, a toothy grin spreading over his face, 'my angel'.  
The words rolled off his tongue with some difficulty; you weren't supposed to have a weird taste in your mouth when you're in heaven, right?

Another less than gentle pat on his cheek woke him properly from his musings, Randy's hands on his chest and back guiding him into a sitting position against the bed.

He looked at him, confused and then back to his drenched boxers. "Why's my... bastard!"

Randy sniggered at the look of shock on his face, eyes lingering slightly longer than he intended over one area in particular.  
"Yeah, sorry about that,"  
"Sorry?! You're not fucking sorry!"

Randy couldn't help but smirk further at Cody's reaction, standing staring down at himself as though it'd get worse if he moved. "Yeah, well. You wouldn't wake up. I tried it the normal way first... it's your own fault." He indicated the empty bottle discarded by his foot with a defiant glare, crossing his arms across his chest as if daring Cody to challenge him.

Cody faltered for a moment, blushing profusely that Randy had found him in such a state, embarrassed that he'd even let that happen to himself, and over something so trivial... well, it wasn't trivial, to Cody, upsetting Randy was anything but, and it obviously upset himself enough that he willingly set out to lose control.

He was unable to remember anything of the night before after getting back to his room, when did Randy even get here? Just now? Or... shit, Cody shook his head, wishing he could remember...

"But... but why are you even HERE?! And how did you get in?"  
"Uh, through the door, you know, the usual way."  
"But why?" Cody noticed that Randy seemed to strategically avoid his first question, his head was throbbing but he felt hyper aware of every little thing Randy said or did. And felt extremely self conscious standing in front of him with his soaking see through boxers clinging onto his crotch.  
"Because without Beth around to keep you on track you seem to be having a little trouble coping…"  
Cody's eyes darkened and he glowered at the mention of her name, and Randy instantly realised he'd hit a sore point.  
"Have you any idea what time it is?" he continued quickly.  
"......" Cody floundered for a moment, looking around for where he'd left his watch before realising it was still on his wrist, blushing furiously as Randy seemed to guffaw at his antics.  
"You're so funny," he sighed fondly, not that Cody recognised it as such.  
"Shut up." he hmph'd at him as he attempted to focus on the tiny digits.  
"You're late. Correction, WE'RE late now."  
"Shit! SHIT!" Cody instantly sprung into action, his arms and legs not quite co-operating with what his brain was trying to tell them to do.  
"There's no point killing yourself over it," Randy interjected as Cody stubbed his toe on the end of the bed and attempted not to hop around howling in pain in front of Randy. "The coach has already gone, they'd been trying to get hold of you for ages. We have to drive ourselves. No point in everyone being late just cos of one lazy bastard." He walked over to the bedside table and picked up Cody's phone, showing him the multitude of missed calls and messages.

Cody blanched in sheer humiliation as his eyes attempted to focus on the screen, "Fuck. I'm dead."  
"Yep. Pretty much."  
Cody collapsed onto the bed, suddenly realising how hungover he was, and how much trouble he'd be in, and a thought struck him that Randy was still here too.  
"But... you? Why are you even here?"  
Randy moved to sit next to him at the end of the bed, "Let's just say that... well, that I volunteered for the job,"  
He chuckled when Cody looked up at him in disbelief, and putting his arm around him and pulling him in close in a brotherly hug, he continued quietly, "I was worried about you, you fucker,"

"But why?" He asked, his voice raspy, everything coming back to him, their confrontation last night, how angry Randy had been and probably still was. "I... I mean... I wouldn't have... I would've left my sorry ass here..."  
Randy cut him off. "Hey... I told you that I don't wanna hear about it... don't make me choke you again."  
Cody's hand flew up to his neck, a slight panic crossing his face.  
"I gotta apologize for that anyway... that was probably the most inappropiate reaction ever..."  
"Well... you could've punted me!" Cody muttered under his breath, earning him a little less friendly nudge into his ribs. "Ouch... watch it!"  
"Yeah, sorry for that as well." His fingers brushed over his side softly, leaving goosebumps behind.

Cody turned his head to look at him, registering only how close they were and how great Randy smelled, freshly showered and all. He moved away quickly. "I gotta shower."  
Randy gave his own watch another pointed look. "Only if you hurry... the maid will probably be here shortly to kick us out."

Watching him walk into the bathroom, Randy shook his head as his eyes were trained on the movement of the firm buttocks under the stretchy white material.  
'What the fuck...?' he shook his head harder as he wondered what the hell as wrong with him, and took out his phone to let the road manager know what was going on.

Cody stepped out a few minutes later, wrapped in a fluffy white towel. He'd been quick, just like Randy asked, and still had glistening droplets covering his exposed torso. He looked towards the door as if expecting the maid service to be standing there tapping her foot, and hurried to his bags, suddenly all too aware that he had to get changed in front of Randy. He knew he did it all the time at work, but this was different, this was, embarrassing... He pondered taking his clothes back into the bathroom, but fuck man he wasn't a teenage girl. Glancing up, he noted that Randy was concentrating on his phone, and quickly pulled on his boxers.

Standing suddenly, Randy gestured towards the bathroom, "I gotta... uh..." he closed his mouth and resolutely looking towards the bathroom and definitely not at Cody, he walked in, closing the door firmly behind him. Leaning back against it he sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the pale wood, he wasn't sure what just came over him. He just had to get out of there very quickly all of a sudden, it was like his eyes were drawn to places they shouldn't be without his permission and he couldn't do anything to stop it, so he just had to get out of temptation's way.

Opening his eyes, they landed directly on the place where Cody would've been standing only moments ago, naked, water cascading down his naked body. Naked. Hands running over his skin as he washed the soap off and rinsed his hair. Naked naked naked. Fuck, Randy scrunched his eyes tight shut to clear the images running rampant inside his obviously deviant mind. A mind that seemed to have been taken over by someone else. He moved over to the toilet and flushed, ran some water, washed his face, refusing to look at himself in the mirror. Sighing again he stood with one hand on the door as he attempted to compose himself before walking back into the room.

Cody looked at the closed door confused and somewhat thrown off. Since when did Randy use sentences that start with 'I gotta... uh' anyway? He've had to ask him later if everything was really okay between them but now he had absolutely no time to be concerned about his feelings, now was only time to pack.  
Throwing in various items of clothing into his open suitcase that he didn't remember getting out in the first place, wondering what he had searched for in his drunken stupor last night.

His eyes widened painfully wide when he realised what exactly was missing from all the mess, the flush of the toilet almost making him jump out of his boxers. He had to get into the bathroom before Randy found it because that'd be... embarrassing wouldn't even cover it. Mortifying maybe? Still too weak.  
It'd be his death.  
After the lock clicked open again, Cody all but sprinted to the door, barging in with his arms flailing around for balance as his bare foot skidded over the wet tiles as he stumbled into the shower, quickly snatching a small bottle from the rack, hiding it in his palm.  
He spun around when Randy asked him what the hell was going on. Then he fell.

It was almost in slow motion that his hand seemed to fling the bottle from his grasp, it was almost like his fingers flung it away on purpose as they reached for the taps instead to steady himself, to no avail as his entire body seemed to flail, his arms wildly swinging to find purchase as his legs went from beneath him. But his eyes were firmly fixed on the path of the bottle, flying in a perfectly curved arc to collide directly with the forehead of the confused looking man in the doorway.

"Ow!" his hands flew to his head at the same time as Cody collapsed with a painful and dramatic sounding thud on the wet tiles,  
"What the fuck!!" Randy hollered in pain as he actually saw stars for a moment, "Shit man what the fuck was that for?!" he staggered about for a second hanging onto the doorframe before righting himself, shaking his head.  
"I'm sorry!"  
Randy realised Cody hadn't moved from his spot on the floor, "Shit are you okay?" he was over there in a flash,  
"It was an accident!"  
"It's okay, I know, here, hold on to my arm," but when Cody made no attempt he looked over him in concern, "Shit, can you move?"  
"Uh..."  
His eyes were darting frantically around, trained on the ground behind Randy, who turned and followed his gaze.

Reaching out suddenly he turned back, grinning widely, "This what you're looking for?!" He twirled the small bottle between his fingers, his grin growing as he stared at Cody cheekily, loving the way his face was almost radiating heat that he could feel even at that distance.  
Cody gulped audibly, completely incapable of speech of any kind and unable to look Randy in the eye.  
"So, uh," Randy held the bottle up with a smirk, pretending to try and read the label, "What's this for then?"

Blushing even deeper Cody pushed his body from the floor, snatching at Randy's hand to retrieve the bottle. "It's... nothing." He snapped at him, staggering to get to his feet once again, only to stumble against Randy who placed his hands on his hips and back in an attempt to steady him. Gulping audibly as he looked down his body, traveling past Randy's warm and soft hands down to his boxers.  
Which were see-through again. Great. Fucking great.

Then his mind went back to Randy's hands that were currently searching his chest and stomach for any signs of damage he might have taken from the fall.  
"What are you doing?" He shouted at him, hand closing tightly around the small bottle.  
Randy looked at him, still smiling. "Just checking if you haven't cracked a rib... you took quite the fall... and there's nothing to be embarrassed about... I mean... it's normal right... to choke the..."

"SHUT UP!" Cody yelled, his face now completely red, "This isn't to…"  
He bit his tongue painfully hard when he realised just what exactly he had just implied. "Fuck!"  
You could see the pieces fall into place behind Randy's eyes and his hands stilled. "Oh... ooh."  
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Cody lunged at him, pushing him out of the tiny bathroom. "Get out."

"Cody, Cody…" Randy was trying not to laugh as he was pushed away, "I was only joking, sorry man, I didn't mean to embarrass you, come on,"  
But Cody slammed the door in his face.  
"Come on man, please?"

"Cody…. We have to get going… come on!"

Cody had no words to respond with, he was absolutely mortified and wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole, almost screaming when his gutter mind chuckled at his expense and the implications of those words in his thoughts went straight to his cock.  
He was on the verge of tearing handfuls of hair out, not sure whether to gouge his own eyes out right then and there or carve his arms up with shards of the mirror he was very tempted to break, with his head. He clenched his teeth and fists a few times for good measure, taking deep breaths to calm himself down, unaware Randy had done the exact same thing in the exact same spot only moments before.

The older man's voice rang through the closed door, "Codes?" Still nothing. Randy sighed, turning back into the room to continue packing up the rest of Cody's stuff, haphazardly flung everywhere in his haste to find the lube. As he picked up items and folded them to put back in the case, he bent down to clear some space at the bottom, something catching his eye.  
Moving aside a rolled up comic held together by an elastic band, he uncovered the long slim box it contained, something bright purple and sparkling inside…

Randy held his breath, taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he wondered if this was what he thought it was, even though he already knew, just like with the lube, exactly what it was… his eyes flicked to the bathroom door as he slowly drew it out, turning it over in his hands.  
At that exact moment, as luck would have it, Cody walked out, Randy dropping the dildo back in the case and standing up looking extremely sheepish as Cody stopped dead in his tracks, jaw hitting the floor in disbelief.

"You... you... fucking... you... fuck!" Cody pressed out, all his carefully and painfully gathered composure gone within half a second. He couldn't believe that it was all actually happening. To him no less.  
He knew they were late, he was only making them even more with each passing minute but he couldn't just go on as if nothing had happened, as if Randy, his mentor and friend, didn't just find out pretty much everything he'd like to keep secret.

He turned, steadying himself against the doorframe as he hurried to get back into the safety of the bathroom but the moment of hesitation and wallowing in embarrassment was too much.  
He felt his body slammed into the cold wall, Randy's hands on his shoulders, keeping in place. He never opened his eyes, unable to as his lip trembled.  
He was not going to cry. He was not going to cry. He was just standing there in a hotel-room with fucking see-through boxers and the one thing no one was supposed to know about, now out in the open. He was not going to cry.

"Just kill me now, get it over with…" he mumbled to himself as Randy pressed against him, he just knew the older man was laughing, laughing at him no less, and he knew he'd never live it down. He felt Randy's strong arms wrap around his shoulders and envelope him in a warm hug, his face buried in the crook of Cody's neck as he tried to stifle his howls of laughter.

"Oh Cody, your face…" he lapsed into uncontrollable giggles again but his arms continued to hold him tight, their bodies pressed flush together as his large warm hands moved in soothing circles along his neck and shoulders.  
"What are you doing?!" he barked, "Get off me!" he tried to wriggle free but Randy just held him tighter, trying to calm him down.  
"No, c'mere…" he could feel Cody's heart beating at a million miles an hour against his chest and ran his hand up through his hair, making soothing noises in amongst the grinning he was unable to stop.

"I don't see what's so fucking funny!"  
"You are, and it's brilliant,"  
"Fuck you."  
Randy's breath hitched in his throat for a moment and he swallowed a cough, and he wondered whether to say the words out loud that instantly just ran through his mind.  
"Yeah, maybe later," his words tickled Cody's ear, so quiet they barely reached the air and Cody was certainly not sure he'd heard that right as Randy suddenly stepped away, hands lingering around his neck over the purple bruises he was responsible for,  
"And uh, remind me to introduce you to uh, Mr Winky…"  
Cody just stared at him like he'd gone mad, "Who?"  
"Birthday present from Sam…"  
"What?" Cody was suddenly aware that his boxers were no longer see through with the sudden heat in the room.  
"Right, come on, we really have to get moving now."

……

"Oh... come on!" Randy patted Cody's thigh as they drove off the hotel parking lot. "I can't believe you're still blushing!"  
"I'm NOT!" Cody snapped, his body tensing. "I'm not blushing!"  
"Oh... you are, Codes and there's no point denying it!" He chuckled, poking Cody's cheek. "Lighten up, sweet cheeks!"  
Cody brushed his hand away, grumbling under his breath. "Leave me alone." With that he went back to stare at his fidgeting hands in his lap.  
Randy sighed, keeping his eyes on the road ahead, reaching out to stroke Cody's neck again. "I don't even know what you're so ashamed of..."  
Cody studied his profile, searching for any kind of hint that he was simply playing him, teasing him but there was nothing. "You actually mean it."  
"Why shouldn't I?"  
Cody shrugged, tilting his head, rubbing his cheek against the back of Randy's hand.

"Please don't tell anyone Randy…"  
"I won't,"  
"Promise?"  
"Yeah, I do,"  
The feeling of his fingers lightly resting on his skin was comforting and Cody gradually began to unwind, the angry hunch in his tense shoulders disappeared and although he stayed silent in a huff as long as he could, Randy's neutral banter put him at ease as the journey continued. And still the large warm hand stayed resting around his neck.

He stared out the window, watching the endless drab highway passing them by, travelling at speeds that made it disappear behind them faster than it should. Well, they were late after all he reasoned, and Randy was a law unto himself. Sighing, he pressed his still pounding forehead into the cool glass and closed his eyes, giving him at least a brief respite from the dull throb, his hangover getting worse as every moment passed. He felt Randy's hand gently knead his shoulder and couldn't help but lean into the touch as the long fingers worked his pressure points.

"Hey…"  
"Yeah?" Cody's eyes flickered open briefly,  
"You okay?"  
"Yeah… well, you know," he shrugged, "Only got myself to blame."  
"Well, true, to an extent, but I think you can probably squeeze a little bit of blame on me in there too," the long fingers traced the path of the bruising around his neck to make his point, and Cody shifted a little in his seat, turning to glance at him slightly, staring at the perfect profile as Randy followed the road.  
"Nah, I deserved it." Cody stated seriously, "I just gotta deal, take it like a man…"  
Randy smirked, unable to stop the words leaving his lips, "I think you already did that last night, didn't you?"

Cody froze, bright red again instantly as Randy laughed at his reaction, pulling him in closer and ruffling his hair to show he was joking.  
"Fuck off." Cody pulled away as far as he could, "I hate you."  
"Awww, you wound me man, you don't mean that,"  
"You're right, I don't. And that's what makes it so hard Randy when you laugh at me."

"Aw, Codes, c'mere…" Randy looked suitably chastened at Cody's confession, "I'm sorry man, I'm not laughing AT you, you make me laugh, there's a difference you know,"

"Well not to me there's not. And now.. and now, ugh."  
"What?"  
"Forget it."  
"Tell me,"

Cody sighed, already regretting opening his mouth, "it's just that…"  
"Just what?"  
"Well, it's you…"  
"What is?"  
"You… know about it…"  
"About what?"  
"Oh don't give me that, you know exactly what I'm talking about, as per usual, and it's not that I'm ashamed about, you know… what you found, well, I am ashamed about it yeah, but it's more that it's, that it's YOU who knows…"  
"Huh?"

"Randy I feel like I've spent half my life being embarrassed in front of you. And it hurts, you know?" Cody couldn't stop himself now he'd started, the words tumbling out that he didn't even know he had in him, "I know that sounds stupid, but if I didn't try so hard to impress you all the time it might not be so bad, it's just that, well… 'cos you're the one person I want to look at me and be proud of me, not look at me and know I've got a fucking giant purple cock in my bag…"  
"Cody…"  
"I mean, FUCK! Of ALL people, it just had to fucking be you, didn't it? FUCK!"

Randy tried to look him in the eye as best he could while driving, failing miserably as Cody refused point blank to look at him.  
"Codes…" he tried again, his arm still trying to comfort the younger man but Cody shrugged it off. "Okay, fine, ignore me. Whatever. You hungry? Let's go get some food."


	2. Chapter 2

…….

Randy sighed, giving Cody another worried look that went unnoticed, waiting for the younger man to get out of the car.  
He slowly crossed the parking lot of the very decent looking diner, turning around every so often to see if Cody would catch up with him and allow him to lock the car. Finally he heard the familiar pace of foot-steps behind him and looked over his shoulder, smiling only to be rejected by a cold stare before Cody hid behind his shades again.

"Here." Randy pushed the menu into his hands before scanning over his own, deciding on what to have. "You okay, Codes?" Again no reply.

"Welcome to Dany's... what can I bring you?" The motherly looking waitress asked them, pad and pen ready to get their orders.  
"The vanilla milkshake, steak-sandwich with a side of fries, please." Randy ordered, returning her smile.  
"And you, dear?"  
Cody barely looked up, shrugging in response. "I'm not hungry."  
"He'll have a large and strong coffee, a glass of water and the banana pecan-nut waffles." Randy resisted to kick Cody's shin under the table for his behaviour. "Thank you."  
As soon as she was gone, Randy leaned forward, glaring at Cody. "What's the matter with you?"  
"Nothing... just leave me alone."  
"Codes... you can't be possibly..." Then it dawned on him. "Fine... let's just eat and get back on the road."  
"We could've picked up some take-out."  
"Sorry... but I wanna be able to enjoy my food and not senselessly stuff my face while I'm driving."  
Cody grumbled again, resting his head on his folded arms when the waitress returned with their drinks.  
He pushed the coffee mug towards Cody, an inch at a time. "Have some and get out of your grumpy zombie-state."  
"I'm not a zombie."  
"So you don't deny that you're grumpy?" Randy said with a smirk before his lips closed around the straw, sucking up the creamy white liquid.

Cody looked up at this exact moment, his brain making the not so big leap and sending all the wrong signals straight to his groin. He was in hell.

"This is good... you want some?" Randy pushed the glass towards him, licking his lips.

"I gotta... uh... I'm gonna..."

Randy stared after him confused until Cody vanished into the bathroom. Then he grinned.

Settling back in his chair he popped a fry in his mouth and chewed thoughfully, keeping an eye on the door to the bathrooms. Ten minutes later he'd demolished his sandwich and Cody still hadn't returned. Sucking up the last of his milkshake, he ordered another, and decided to go see if Cody was okay, or if he'd escaped out the bathroom window. Nothing would surprise Randy the way Cody was acting today. He glanced down at the waffles sitting waiting for his return and couldn't resist sticking his finger in the cream, damn that shit was good, he'd have to get Cody out of there in a hurry even if he had to surgically remove him so he could get one of these babies for himself.

He opened the outer door quietly, listening for any sound from within, and sure he heard a stifled sob he let the door close softly behind him. There it was again, definitely stifled, but less sob and more… moan? His ears pricked up, and moving further into the bathroom he stood silently listening, just able to make out the faint sound of material faffing and someone moving around. Grinning widely, he felt a rush work its way over him and wasn't too surprised to feel himself get a little hot under the collar. Moving with te stealth of a ninja he crept back over to the door and slipped out, pretending he was only just now coming in, much louder this time.

"Codes?" he called quietly, "You in here buddy?"

Cody was lost in his own little world, the image of Randy's lips closing around that straw, and the look of bliss on his face as he lazily sucked up the creamy froth, fuck, Cody couldn't stop his mind from going into overdrive. This wasn't the first time he'd had such thoughts about Randy, but it was the first time it had been so instant, so graphic in his mind when he looked at him that he had to escape, like instantly. And there was no chance this boner was going away any time soon. Not on it's own at least, it certainly needed a little help. And he was this close, thiiis close, seconds away, panting, hand flying, familiar coil in his belly ready to unload…

"Codes?"

He froze from his position behind the inner cubicle door right at the far end. His hand stopped in mid flight, the orgasm too close to contain though as his seed spilt eagerly out and over his hand, the stifled choking as he held his breath while his body spasmed, hopefully not too audible.

"Cody?"

Shit! Shit!! He was dead, so dead…

"Are you okay?" Randy sounded sad, like he thought…

"Are you crying?"

Crying? Oh thank god…

But Cody didn't see the curl of Randy's lip as he bit back a full smirk,

"Or beating off?"

Randy waited, saying nothing at all, the only noise coming from Cody as he slowly dressed himself again, trying desperately to not make any suspicious noises and failing to do so.  
If it was possible to die of embarrassment, Cody was sure his head would've exploded a long time ago. At least he wouldn't have to deal with Randy this way. But his head didn't explode. His face was on fire and his eyes were brimming with tears. Why wasn't he able to catch one fucking break lately; his life had become one damn horrible moment after the other. Maybe he'd just stay here and never go back out again.  
"Come on, Codes... unless you're inventing a machine that'll turn back time for us... come out and have your waffles. We gotta get going soon."  
Cody sighed wistfully, a time-machine would be a great thing to have.  
As he walked out of the stall, he kept his face down, trying to shield his face from Randy but no avail. As soon as he felt the grey eyes staring at him, he looked up, beginning to tremble as he repeated his new mantra over and over in his head 'do not fucking cry'.  
He leaned against the sink, splashing cold water in his face, the running tap covering the small sob that escaped him. He was such a fucking idiot.  
"You're not." Randy whispered.  
Had he said that out loud? Well fuck me.

"How can you say that?" Cody snapped at him as he spun around, water dripping down on his shirt. "How can you say that? All I do lately is fuck things up... for you... for me... for fucking everyone..."  
Randy closed his eyes, shaking his head at him. "Stop saying that."  
"But it's the fucking truth!"  
Strong arms wrapped around him, holding him in place as his blood pounded in his ears and the tears spilled over. "It's the fucking truth."

"It's not." As Randy's words left his lips, Cody's shoulders heaved and the only way he could stop the sob from escaping was to let out a violent cry of frustration to mask it, tearing himself out of Randy's arms, the offer of comfort being the very thing that tipped him over the edge. He slammed through the doors, hastily putting his sunglasses on before making his way through the restaurant and straight back out to the car.

Randy sighed as he was left alone in the bathroom, leaning against the sink with both hands he looked at himself in the mirror and wondered what the fuck to do. He slowly washed his hands and made his way back out to their table, fully aware of the eyes of the waitress on him as he stood wondering what to do.

"Can I get this to go?" he indicated the waffles and the new milkshake he'd ordered before, watching Cody outside through the window, leaning heavily against the car with his arms folded moodily across his chest and kicking stones across the parking lot.

"Is he okay out there honey?" The question startled Randy from his reverie as she handed over his food, a concerned hand on his arm.

"Yeah, he will be. Just needs some time." Randy rumbled quietly, eyes darting back and forth between her and the window, "Little too much to drink last night is all..." he smiled ruefully, thanking her profusely as she gave him a fresh, steaming hot coffee for Cody in place of his own now luke warm one, and leaving a generous pile of cash on the countertop he made his way outside.

As soon as the beep sounded, Cody was inside the car in a flash, sunglasses hiding his eyes and ipod playing loudly in his ears. Randy handed him the coffee, which despite his petulant appearance he accepted gratefully, and opened the waffle container, wafting it under his nose teasingly, knowing the smell was practically impossible to resist. It obviously did the trick, as Cody's nose reacted before he had control over the matter and his eyes flicked up, his tummy rumbling despite his resolve for it not to.

"Thankyou," he mumbled quietly, as he took it from Randy's hands, putting his coffee in down after quickly swigging half the cup. He did his best not to be amused as Randy accidently on purpose got his finger caught in the cream again and made a show of sucking it off and enjoying it far too much.

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Being so good to me." he finished quietly, his eyes firmly fixed on his food in his lap, fully aware of Randy's eyes fixed to him in return as he sat pointedly sideways, watching him, demolishing the second of his new favourite milkshakes.

"Get used to it," Randy said seriously, refraining from admonishing him when he was so obviously still fragile, offering a taste of his bucketsized milky heaven instead.

Cody shook his head quickly, stuffing his a piece of waffle into his mouth instead.  
"Fine." Randy shrugged and started the engine, pulling off the parking lot slower than he usually would.  
"Thanks." Cody muttered, chewing thoughtfully.  
"What for?"  
"For not making my breakfast topple all over me."  
Randy flashed him a grin before focusing back on the road. "Mind sharing?"  
Cody dipped a piece of waffle into the cream, holding it out for him to take "Here."  
Randy raised an eye-brow at him. "I can't really take my hands off the wheel... traffic is kinda busy right now."  
Cody looked from the food to Randy who leaned sideways and opened his mouth.  
"I promise I won't bite... I'll just nibble a little."  
Sighing heavily Cody fed the piece of sugar heaven to him, licking his own fingers out of reflex afterwards.  
"What did I tell you... I don't bite!" Randy grinned at him, unable to resist he added, "Unless you want me to."  
Cody started coughing violently, nearly choking on his food, tears starting to form in his eyes.  
And even though he didn't want to, his mind was working on it's own accord, bringing everything back to him.  
He turned his head to the window, looking out as the tears rolled down his cheeks.

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_ He shook his head in almost desperation, tears never having come so easily in his life. But everything just seemed to be getting a little too much recently, overwhelming him, and he didn't know how to deal with it. He'd never had to contend with so many new feelings all at once, and he coughed again to cover the sniff as he felt his heart clench tightly inside his chest and the tears continued to fall.

Randy glanced over at the sudden fit of choking, finding Cody firmly facing out the window. He reached out, his hand lightly trailing to its usual spot round the back of his neck. He squeezed gently, soothing the incredibly tense muscle he found beneath his touch, his thumb lightly brushing across his cheek. He paused in confusion as he felt the wet surface beneath his skin, and the true nature of Cody's avoiding his gaze became all too clear.

"Codes?" he whispered in concern, eyes flicking over quickly then back to the road, "What's wrong?"

But Cody just hunched up even further in response, trying and failing to shrug off the comforting arm around his shoulders.

"Cody?" Randy was gently but firmly holding him as best he could with only one arm, and as Cody's state only seemed to deteriorate at the offer of a kind word, he became even more determined to find out what was wrong and do whatever he could to fix it.

When the weak tremors shook Cody's body Randy quickly pulled over at the next opportunity, killing the engine as he looked at Cody, waiting for him to speak as the cars continued to rush past them.  
But there was nothing but the quiet sniffles and sobs from him and he was still desperately avoiding Randy's eyes upon him, not daring to take off his sunglasses.  
Randy carried on with his silent comfort, stroking his neck and shoulders. "Cody... please."  
He shook his head, inching further away from Randy until he was pressed against the door and glass.  
"I... I... I'm okay... really." His voice made the shaky statement unbelievable. "Wha- what are you..."  
"Sssh." Randy licked his lips as he leant over, slowly easing the dark shades off Cody's face, revealing the puffy red eyes beneath. "Cody... whatever it is..."  
"I don't fucking know what's wrong!" He shouted before he could stop himself. "I don't fucking know... nothing's wrong... _everything_ is!"  
And finally Randy was allowed to offer the comfort he wanted to as he pulled Cody away from the window and into his arms, just holding him. "It'll be okay... I swear it'll be okay."  
Cody looked up at him, wiping his cheek. "How can you say that?"  
"I just know... I just know." Randy muttered, kissing his temple softly.  
Cody acted on pure instinct, not a coherent or reasonable thought on his mind when he pressed his lips against Randy's neck.

They sat in silence for the longest time, cheeks pressed together, and Cody's arms finally made their way around Randy in return.

When Randy's hand came up to stroke the back of his head and he felt the soft lips pressing into his hair, he couldn't help but sigh and nuzzle his face in further, partly to hide in shame, partly in a secret hope that the comfort would continue.

But Randy had no plans to let go any time soon, glad that Cody had finally accepted his sincerity, and just held on tighter as he felt the hard body finally start to relax beneath his touch.

"Randy…"

"Hmm?"

"I really am sorry…"

"Cody…"

"…for everything, for acting like such a jerk, being such a fucking baby…"

"You have to stop apologising to me for every little thing Codes…"

"Sorry…"

"See? You're doing it again," Randy smiled fondly into his hair as he resumed stroking the soft strands, "I know you've had a hard time the past few days, I know how hard it is when someone you trust, you love even, fucks you over…"

Cody gasped, pulling back to look at Randy in confusion, "But I didn't mean to…"

"I know, I'm sure you didn't do anything wrong… and you deserve better than being treated like that Cody…"

Cody was silent for a moment as he looked at Randy in concern, noting the seriousness on his face as he continued, words about being honest from the start and knowing where you stand, what was he saying? Was he kicking him out of Legacy? Was he trying to let him down gently?

"Please, no, please Randy, don't kick me out…" he knew he was begging, but he didn't even care, he didn't know what he'd do if Randy left him too.

This time it was Randy's turn to look at him in concern as the blue eyes pleaded, looking ready to overflow again.

"Kick you out? Of what? The car?!"

"Huh? No, I mean… hang on, what are you talking about?"

Randy looked at him in complete confusion, "Beth…"

Cody sighed in relief, almost chuckling, "Ohhh, Beth,"

"Who did you think I was talking about?"

Cody looked down, unable to meet his eye again now as he felt the blush rising over his cheeks, feeling stupid and desperate, biting his lip as Randy tilted his chin up to meet his eye, "Codes?"

"You…"

Cody's sudden realisation that Randy meant more to him than Beth ever did shocked him to the core. Or maybe it was just the fact that he could finally admit it, if only to himself. "I thought you were…"

He didn't pull away this time when Randy pulled him close once more, breathing a sigh of relief instead at the soft words that followed,

"I'm not going anywhere."

Cody took a deep breath, "Thankyou," he whispered, his voice choked with tears all over again, "You're so patient with me and I don't deserve…"

"Shhhh…"

"But I…"

Suddenly Randy's lips were on his, stealing the words from his mouth before he had the chance to object, soft, gentle, hesitant.

As he pulled away slightly, leaving Cody frozen in place where he sat, staring at him in shock, he started the car and pulled back onto the road, one hand running back to its familiar resting place at the back of Cody's neck.

"Well that's one way to shut you up," he chuckled.

Eventually Cody snapped out of his state of utter shock, his fingers reaching up to trail over his prickling lips, unable to grasp what had just occured. Though the rush of emotions and confusion rushing through him was calmed when Randy's hand rested on his neck again, the familiarity of the gesture making things less troubling.  
"Why did you do that?" he whispered, eyes firmly fixed on the tail-lights of the car driving in front of them.  
"What?"  
"Why did you... why did you kiss... why?"  
"You're rambling Cody."  
"Sorry."  
Randy threw him a sideway glance, chuckling. "Stop apologizing, please."  
"So- uh... I..." Cody looked back down on his fingers, fumbling again. His tongue flicked over his bottom lip, still tasting Randy there. "Why?"  
"Do you really want to analyze it?" Randy asked with a raised brow, grinning when Cody shook his head. "Thought so... stop burying yourself in your problems that you made inside your own head..."  
Despite everything Randy said, Cody's mind ultimately found its way back to the kiss. There was no escaping it.

-

Randy tapped out a rhythmn on the steering wheel, listening to the dial-tone of his phone while he waited for Cody to return from the inside of the gas station.  
"Hey Sam... it's me." He smiled when he heard his daughter laugh happily in the background. "How's my sunshine doing?"  
-"Alanna thinks she's cute when she makes a mess with her lunch... we miss you."-  
He leaned back into the seat, sighing. "I miss you too... listen, I know that you... anyway... I wanna..."  
-"What Randy?" She laughed. "Spill it and stop rambling!"-  
"I wanna use the wild card you offered me."  
-"Really?"  
Randy wondered if it was normal for a wife to get excited when her husband asked her to allow him to cheat on her. "Yeah."  
-"Do I know him?" Sam questioned with a smile, imagining Randy's frown on the other end of the line. "Please tell me it's Cody."-  
"How... how do you... what?"  
-"I just knew that it was bound to happen sooner or later... have fun! I'll call you later, 'kay? Love you!"-  
Randy said his good-byes, snapping his phone shut when Cody reappeared, his arms stuffed with candy and junk food.  
"I know... you're gonna make me work extra hard for all that shit!" Cody rolled his eyes at him, offering him a protein bar. "Got your favourite!"  
Randy shook his head, waiting for Cody to settle in and fasten his seat-belt before his hand returned to it's spot on his neck.  
"Did you talk to Sam?"  
"Yeah... I did... she sends her love."  
Cody nodded once, opening a bag of chocolates. If he couldn't have Randy then he'd have chocolate. _'I'm such a girl.'_

---

Cody walked heavily back up the ramp after his gruelling encounter with John, at least it felt that way, what with his hangover seemingly worse than before. And he definitely regretted eating the ridiculous amount of crap he'd eaten in the car on the way there. His stomach was churning. Or was that just down to the stuff John was whispering to him under his breath the whole way through the match? Cody was well aware it was all in jest, that John liked nothing better than to wind up his opponents like that, and the fact that Cody was his favourite target outside the ring aswell made it a double pleasure for John, who seemed to get off on the fact that Cody never ever took the bait and bit back, leaving John to just continue on in glee, getting dirtier and dirtier with every little thing that fell from his lips. He ran his hand over the bruises around his neck, fresh tan not doing enough to shield them from John's investigative eyes.

"Looks like Randy put the collar on a little too tight this time Codester… Randy give you them bruises for screwing up his match huh?" he'd leered cruelly, "That why you were both late today was it? He make you suck him off as collateral? A little extra curricular punishment going down?" And even though that wasn't the case in the slightest, John hadn't missed the inevitable flush that took over Cody's cheeks at the less than subtle insinuations, and that only made his smirk grow even wider, "Hmmm careful you don't fuck up this match aswell hey buddy, just think of the things I could get you to do for me…" Cody literally just gave up beneath him, not even attempting to fight his way out of the three count.

As he got back to the locker room, Randy took one look at his face and just handed him a smoke, steering him straight outside.

Randy waited patiently, waited in silence until Cody was ready to speak but the younger man simply stood next to him, body half turned away as he studied his shoes with great interest. Rubbing over his neck, Randy closed his eyes for a moment, wondering what he had to do to get Cody to finally open up and stop keeping it all in.  
Flicking the bud to the ground he turned towards the door. "If you ever feel like talking you know where to find me."  
Cody merely nodded, forcing his thoughts on something else until he found a tune in head, bobbing along to the rhythmn as he began whistling, pausing only to take a drag from his cigarette.  
"Stop slaughtering music and come back inside."  
The last words were lost in Randy's laughter as Cody nearly jumped out of his skin, getting ash all over his sweat pants before glaring at Randy.  
"Really... was that really fucking necessary?"  
He shrugged. "Yes, apparently... maybe scaring you death will make you talk."  
Cody grumbled some more but finally followed him inside, his fingers trailing over the bruises of his neck. "They don't look like they could be from a collar, right?"  
"What?"  
"John... he... uh..."  
"What did he say?" Randy questioned, tensing already. The last thing Cody needed was more teasing, not when he was so fragile.  
"Nothing."  
"Cody!" Randy stopped him, pushing him against the nearest wall gentle but firmly. "Talk. To. Me."

Cody captured the large hand in his own as it trailed across his neck, brushing his lips over the back of the prominent knuckles.

"Don't think for even a second your smooth stalling tactics are working…" Randy smiled, eyes following the movement of the unexpected senual moment, but determined to get to the bottom of Cody's words, his confidence knocked enough already without having to endure the type of shit John was capable of laying on.

"What did he say?"

"Who?"

"Codes…" Randy growled in frustration, wishing just for once Cody would trust him enough to let him in instead of bottling everything up until he exploded. A bit like he did, he suddenly realised…

Cody slipped away from the wall and headed back to the locker room, "Cody, wait…"

"I wanna shower before your match, so I can watch…"

Randy trailed after him and watched him disappear into the back, wishing he could watch that show instead of the one he had to go put on in a few minutes…

Standing in front of his open locker as he dressed, Cody could feel the eyes on him from behind and turned to find Ted staring at him in a kind of morbid fascination as he came back in from his match.

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

"Is that what Randy did to you in the ring last night?!"

His hand shot up to his throat out of reflex and his eyes narrowed defensively as John guffawed from the corner.

"And the rest!"

"Huh?" Ted turned to look at him in confusion as Cody coloured again despite all his best efforts not to.

"Looks to me like Randy's got someone on a tight leash… dontcha think?!"

"Ha ha, very funny Cena,"

Cody turned back around to finish dressing as fast as he could, rolling his eyes, secretly mortified that John was doing this in public, especially in front of Ted, his own personal childhood tormentor who could never let a golden opportunity for ridicule pass without his undivided attention.

"Hang on a minute Codes, I think he might be onto something here!" The glee in Ted's voice was obvious, and John came back over for a closer look.

"Think? Dude, I _know_ I'm onto something, I mean look at the way this bit here is darker than the rest, that's where Randy tightens the buckle obviously, you know, when the boy's not sucking hard enough…"

Cody barged through them forcefully to go watch the match backstage as Randy's music rang out, his face neutral but his insides anything but.

"I think we hit a nerve there Teddy boy…"

"I think we did… do you know something I don't know?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question…" They grinned at each other, following Cody out into the corridor.

He stood with his back to them and his arms folded across his chest, shoulders hunched in concentration as he stared determinedly at the monitor, eyes firmly following Randy's movements around the ring.

The entire time he could hear Ted and John whispering and sniggering behind him and did his best to ignore them, trying in vain to block it out completely as snippets like '_doggy collar style_' and '_yeah that's why he doesn't wear kneepads, he doesn't need to, he's so used to being down there_' and '_do you think Randy's up for sharing?_' reached his now bright red ears.

His patience diminished at a rate of knots as he forced himself to concentrate on the screen, scuffing his foot subconsciously on the concrete and gritting his teeth, finally losing it seconds before Randy returned, and stepping out back, the first thing he saw was Cody's fist connect with a completely stunned John before storming back to the locker room.

Randy was the only one who saw the tears.

"OW! What was that for?" John's hand shot up to his jaw, catching the look on Randy's face.  
"What have you done?" Randy snarled as he snagged a bottle of water from the table next to the gorilla position, his eyes never leaving John and Ted. At least John had the decency to look like he had been caught with his fingers in the cookie jar. "You must confuse me with a man that repeats himself... what have you done?"  
Ted scratched the back of his head, shrugging. "Nothing."  
"So Cody punched John for nothing?"  
"You know that he's been acting really strange lately... wouldn't put it past him."  
Rolling his eyes Randy rushed past them, heading towards their locker-room for a shower.  
When he found it to empty he figured that Cody was probably outside for another smoke, not that he was surprised by that as he knew that he would avoid another confrontation with John and Ted and possibly even facing him. And that little thought hurt. Cody should know that he could trust him, confide in him and yet he was withdrawing more and more into himself.

Randy zipped up his bag and still no sign of Cody. Sighing he opened the door determinded to find him, talk to him. He asked a few people he came across backstage if they had seen the youngest Legacy member but it wasn't until he ran into a stage-hand that pointed him towards an unused locker-room.

Cody was sitting on the floor, back against the wall with his head in his hands, his sobs finally subsiding. He felt so weak and pathetic, especially when he continued to break down in front of Randy, who wasn't supposed to see him like this. That's why he ran, unable to endure any more verbal assaults from Ted and John who managed to find the sore spots with ease each and every time.

So when the door opened and Randy stepped inside, Cody couldn't suppress a groan. It wasn't supposed to be like this. As if the day wasn't screwed up already and he hadn't to deal with enough; for example the revelation that he liked Randy much more than he should. Loved him even. There, he said it.

"Cody?" Randy folded his long frame to ground next to him.

"I don't really wanna talk about it."  
To his surprise Randy didn't push further but wrapped his arm around him, pulling his head down his shoulder, his hand rubbing in soothing circles over his biceps.

They sat until the noise of the arena finally began to diminish around them, Cody's face now dry of tears but neither man making an attempt to move anywhere.

He was sick of this he really was. Maybe the whole thing with Beth had got to him more than he'd realised...

Yet no matter what stupid things he did, no matter how many times he cried, Randy was there for him. Actively seeking him out, making sure he was okay, and even though he cringed and wanted to die every time Randy saw him like that, he realised that Randy never judged him like he feared, never made fun of him, never did anything but give him support and offer him kindness and comfort. He wasn't carefully tallying up every single occasion into a nice neat parcel ready to throw back in Cody's face at an opportune moment to laugh at him.

Not like Ted and John just did. Suddenly, he found himself telling Randy every single little thing that had been running through his mind the past few days, spilling his deepest worries and concerns, his secrets and fears. He talked and talked until both their butts were numb from the cold hard floor yet still they sat there, and Randy just listened, his hands never ceasing their comforting circles on his skin.

The only time Randy spoke, was to ask what John had said to earn the almighty sock to the jaw backstage, and Cody's resolve finally weakened. He didn't want Randy to know about that, to know what they thought, about him, about them... he didn't want to lose Randy because of stupid locker room banter, idle ribbing that he wasn't man enough to take, yet might cause Randy to back off from him completely...

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me..."

But Cody did, he found he couldn't hold it in no matter how hard he tried, he was new to having a confidante like this and he felt free, being able to share his woes, he felt better.

"I'm gonna kill him... both of 'em..."

"No! Shit, Randy, wait," he grabbed his arm just as the older man made to move, "Don't, seriously, they're not worth it..."

"You're worth it."

The stormy eyes locked on him, penetrating his very soul, and Cody crumbled beneath the intense gaze. He flung his arms around his neck as Randy stood, lifting them both from the cold concrete and straightening their cramped limbs. "My ass hurts like hell."

"And you stink too," Cody murmured into his ear, as they stood, still wrapped around each other, earning him a smirk in return and a swift slap on his numb butt, although Randy was secretly glad of his efforts, the Cody of old making an appearance once more, finally.

"Oi, fucker! C'mon, let's go, tonight, I think we both need a drink,"

"Oh my… unbe-fucking-lievable… I… I…" Randy sat down the beer bottle, staring at Cody with an open mouth.  
"Wha- what?" Cody's head snapped around looking for whatever had Randy in complete shock. "What's wrong?"  
"You!"  
He wiped his mouth quickly. "I've got something on my face, right?"  
Finally Randy was unable to keep up with the façade and began laughing, patting Cody on the shoulder. "It's nothing on your face… maybe it is your face in general…"  
Cody's eyes darkened immediately, grabbing his jacket from the chair next to him. "You know what… forget it… whatever!"  
Randy caught his wrist with one fluid motion, pulling him back into his seat. "I wasn't making fun of you, Codes."  
"You weren't?"  
"Believe it or not… but this was the first time in days that I've actually seen you laugh… not grin or smile but a real honest laugh."  
Cody buried his head in his hands, groaning. Trust him to over-react in epic proportions. "I'm sorry."  
Two fingers reached underneath his chin while the other hand pried his hands away from his face. "I told you to stop apologizing for every little bit."  
"How can you… why… why are you…"  
"What?"  
"Why are you fucking patient with me… lately all I do is screw up with every step I take and now I get mad at you for nothing at all…"  
Randy shrugged, taking a sip from his beer. "I'm your friend… friends do that, right… unless the rules changed since I last looked…"  
"They haven't." Cody muttered, smiling again.  
"Are you sure… I mean we can go to the library and… "  
This time Cody knew to turn around, the tense look on Randy's face was warning enough, frowning when he realized Ted and John had just entered the bar, Ted nudging John into the ribs when they saw him and Randy hunched into the far corner of the room; all by themselves.  
He watched helplessly as Randy downed the rest of his beer, his palms hitting the table-top hard as he stood up, stalking towards the two men that had taken their seats at the bar. Cody looked on worried as Randy gave Ted a less than gentle push, the volume of his voice increasing each second.  
Finally he snapped out of his daze, hurrying over just in time as Ted stood up, getting into Randy's face and sure enough now the entire bar was paying attention to the heated exchange.  
Sliding between them, he paid no attention to Ted whatsoever, focusing solely on Randy as he tried to calm him down, his hands coming to rest on his shoulder and cheek. "It's not worth getting into trouble over him…"  
"Hey!"  
Cody didn't move. "Get him out of here, Cena… Randy… look at me… I'm fine… okay… nothing happened…"  
Eventually Randy fists unclenched, the strain leaving his body, relaxing gradually into Cody's soft-spoken words and caress.

Cody grabbed the beers Cena had just that second paid for off the bar and all but dragged Randy outside, chucking him his lighter as he went, indicating he best calm down before he did something he regretted. Looking around at the empty courtyard, he headed for some tall stools in the corner and lit up, balancing the beers on the wall, passing over the smoke and a beer at the same time. But Randy just put the beer straight back down, pulling Cody towards him instead, enveloping him in his arms and nuzzling his face down with a sigh in the crook of his neck.

"Sorry…" Randy huffed quietly, "I just saw red there for a minute…"

"It's okay," Cody held him tight for a moment, gently stroking his neck and cheek like Randy had done for him so many times already.

"Did you see John's jaw?! You really got him a good un there!"

Cody laughed, "Yeah, my fucking hand is killing me!" he shook it for emphasis, examining it under the dim light, and Randy took it between his own palms and ran his thumb lightly over the swelling.

"Did you ice it?"

"Yes mother!"

"You were a lot more patient than I would've been… I would've hit him straight away." He sighed wistfully and put his arms back around Cody's waist, "Unless you were there, you always seem to… I dunno, have this effect on me, calm me down… I still really wanna give Ted a matching one though…"

"They're not worth it…"

Randy pulled back, staring him seriously in the eye for a moment before resting their foreheads together with a sigh, "Yeah, but you are Cody…"

Cody wasn't sure if he'd have had the ability to reply anyway as Randy's words overwhelmed him, right at the exact same time the breath left him in a rush as Ted and John came barging through the outside door, stopping dead in their tracks as they saw the scene in the corner.

Cody went to pull instantly away but Randy just sighed in exasperation and shook his head, dropping it back down on Cody's shoulder for a moment before leaning back against the wall and picking up his beer.

"What the fuck do you want now?"

"It's true! It's fucking true!" Ted was pointing at them incredulously and laughing like a maniac.

"Well fuck me sideways Orton…" John looked slightly more taken aback but no less gleeful at the display, "I mean, I was only joking but it seems we were right all along!"

"John, I'm not in the mood for your shit, thankyou for the beer…" he lifted it in salutation, deathly glare in place as he took a swig, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, "We accept your peace offering," he added pointedly, "Now apologise to Cody, both of you, and run along like good little boys, yeah?" he growled menacingly and John took a step back in mock fear,

"Oooh easy there big fella! We were only messin! If the boy can't take a joke…" he shrugged, grin dividing his face,

"Yeah, if he can't take it _like a man_…" Ted added, before they both descended into fits of giggles.

This time it was Ted who didn't even see the fist coming as it smashed into the side of his face, and Randy just picked up Cody's throbbing hand in his own, investigating the damage for a second, grabbed the beers with the other, and hand in hand, they slowly walked away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** THE STATE THAT I AM IN .… part 3  
**Rating:**M  
**Pairing: **Randy/Cody  
**Authors:**** alethea293**and**doorist**

**A/N:** This is a joint fic started a paragraph at a time when we got a little bit carried away in the drabble tree over at the CRKO comm. It's not finished yet and it's fast approaching 20,000 words so we're posting it a chapter at a time. We started writing it just after the royal rumble so there's quite a few references in there about what went down... the strangling, the locker room scene afterwards that we never got to see... The title is a Belle and Sebastian song...

I gave myself to sin  
And I've been there and back again  
I gave myself to Providence  
The state that I am in

Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me  
'cos I'm stupid and blind  
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boys empty mind

……………………………………….

Part 3

………………………………..

Cody sighed heavily, watching Randy struggle with the key-card and lock. Again.

"What is it with you and hotel-room locks?"  
Randy shot him a glare, huffing when the light blinked red again. "They all conspired against me."  
"Let me try!" He was about to push him aside, but Randy was having none of that.  
"Keep your hand iced... you hit Ted much harder than John... and I know that you didn't ice it at the arena... there was no freeze-pack in the room where you were hiding away..."  
"I wasn't hiding." Cody pouted at him, snatching the card from his grasp when he was about to retort.

"See... this is how it's done." He said smugly when the light jumped to green.  
"As I said... a fucking conspiracy... you may enter, Mr. Rhodes."

Cody bit his lip for a moment. "Are you sure that it's okay?"  
"I wouldn't offer you to stay if it wasn't, right?" Randy pushed him inside, closing the door behind them. "And I seriously doubt that you want to be anywhere close to Ted tonight."  
Slumping down on the bed, Cody let himself fall backwards into the cover with a yawn, rubbing his eyes as he groaned. "I decked John AND Ted today!"  
"They deserved it..."  
Staring at the ceiling Cody nodded slowly. "Yeah... they deserved it... but still... I can't just go around punching my co-workers like that... shit!"

Randy watched worried as Cody fell back into blaming himself for everything that went wrong. He walked over, nudging Cody's leg with his knee. "Stop that."  
"I can't... I fucking can't... "  
"We talked about this... you have no reason whatsoever..." Finally he leaned down, his hands resting on each side of Cody's head. "Stop that... look at me... Codes."  
"I'm sorry..." His mouth went dry as he opened his eyes, coming face to face with Randy, who was so close. So very close that he could hear his heart beat in his chest. Or was it his own?  
He held his breath when Randy shifted, putting his weight onto his left hand, the other stroking his cheek.

"Randy..."  
"Cody... just shut up." With that Randy's lips closed over Cody's.

Deliberately tentative, lips slowly kneading the soft pout, instantly forming an 'o' in an overwhelmed gasp of surprise at the gentle ministrations. Lips parting to hesitantly allow entry to the probing tongue, asking for permission before delving into the hot depths of the eager mouth. Hands frozen, gripping the sheets in shock before slowly unwinding, hovering above the heated body lying alongside, pressed close, chest rising and falling faster than usual, breath rapid, short sharp bursts then holding it for all eternity if need be as mouths devoured each other, hesitance forgotten, surprise giving way to elation. Long fingers trailing down a heated brow, eyes gazing longingly over blushing skin, radiant with desire, thumb brushing over the flushed cheekbone, tracing the outline of the plump lower lip as it protruded ever so slightly in dismay at the loss of bruising contact with its partner panting lightly for breath above. The hands lingering over jean clad hips suddenly finding a mind of their own, rushing into action with surprising ferocity, built up tension and passion working through the limbs to pull overheating bodies together. Softness turning to want, to need, pure unadulterated lust, gentleness becoming heated desire, desperation becoming reality in living, breathing technicolour. One kiss, just one kiss, followed by one word.

"Sam…"

Randy froze, "What?" he panted, almost choking for air, staring into the horrified blue eyes staring up at him.

"Oh my god, Randy, no, no, oh my god, Sam, I'm so sorry…" he was stammering repeatedly, body scooting further up onto the pillows, getting as far away as he could as he shook his head in disbelief, staring at Randy incredulous, wild eyed, "I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't?"

"No!" He shook his head emphatically, "No, no."

Randy looked saddened, "Cody," he reached out to touch him, but was met with thin air as Cody drew his legs back to avoid the contact, "It's okay," he moved closer, hand offered in a gesture of friendship as though to a frightened dog, "It's okay, honest."

"How can you say that?!" Cody stared at him aghast,

"She knows, Cody, she already knows,"

"What?"

"About me." He gestured helplessly between them for a moment, "About this… us."

"I don't understand… what the fuck are you talking about?"

"About how I feel… about you. I told her…"

But Cody never heard that, his brain simply shut down to the now very familiar panic-mode and only gave one order - get. the. fuck. out. He had just ruined Randy's marriage and life, not to mention Sam's and that of Alanna as well. 'I am a fucking brain-dead screw-up.'  
He all but scrambled off the bed towards the door, stumbling over his own feet, tripping over their luggage, ignoring every word Randy said, every gesture that was made towards him, one thing on his mind as he fought with his emotions. He had to get the fuck away from Randy before it all took a turn for the worst. _'Wait... didn't you just kiss him?' _The gloating voice asked him, making his body tremble with anger. Anger that was strictly directed against himself.  
"I'm sorry." He whispered, voice breaking as he stood in front of the door, unable to turn around and face Randy. Not after this. Not like this.  
Randy used that moment to rush between the door and Cody, blocking it from him, putting his hands on his shoulders, trying to ease whatever was on his mind. "Please... there was nothing wrong..."

Cody pushed him away, yelling, "How can you say that was not wrong?" He pointed towards the bed, the slightly disturbed comforter.

Wriggling out of his grasp he tried to escape into the bathroom but Randy was faster, more focused and a lot stronger.  
"You're not going to hide in there again." It wasn't an order but soft-spoken statement laced with worry. "I won't let you."  
Cody stared up at him, blue eyes shining a little too much.  
"Come 'ere."

He pulled him close, wrapping his arms securely around the shaking torso as he felt the fabric of his shirt dampening while Cody repeated the same words over and over again.

"I'm so sorry."

"No Cody," Randy sighed, a heartbreaking sound as he felt him actually trembling in fury against his chest, and he held his body close, a situation he was finding himself in more and more frequently recently,

"I'm the one who should be sorry. It was too soon, I shouldn't have done that, forced myself on you like that, I just…" he sighed again, raking one hand over his shorn head as he pressed his face into Cody's shoulder, actually feeling like shedding a tear or two himself this time.

Except that Randy Orton didn't do that, not now not ever. But he'd well and truly fucked this one up, and that was the last thing he intended to do. It was obviously way too much too soon after Beth, and Cody couldn't handle it.

What the hell was he thinking?

He clearly wasn't, he'd let his feelings get in the way of rational thought and now he'd fucked everything up.

Yet still Cody clung to the front of his shirt, no fight left in him, and nowhere else to run. There must be something salvageable from the ashes of this mess.

Cody wanted to run. He wanted to hide. He wanted to scream, to shout, to grovel and apologise on his knees. But he just stood stock still, silent, desperate not to leave the warmth of the comforting embrace, not to lose the man whose arms he felt so safe in, so protected, so… at home.

In Randy's arms he felt free from the pressures of the outside world, like nothing else mattered except the two of them then and there, like this was the reason for his entire existence.

And he'd felt like all of that had just suddenly jumped up and presented itself to him the moment their lips touched, like it all became clear that very second, instantly, it was the best moment of his life, nothing else would matter ever again because now everything was right, everything would be okay.

Except it wasn't. It was the furthest thing from okay he could possibly imagine, because it was also the worst moment of his life, he'd lost everything, thrown it all away on a stupid whim because he couldn't control himself.

Yet Randy was still here. Still… holding him… _Why_? Why is _he_ apologising? What the fuck is he talking about?

Suddenly he drew back, eyes narrowed in disbelief and a frown firmly in place,

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Huh?" Randy looked utterly confused at the demanding growl,

"Tell me!" Cody almost pleaded, "What did you just say?"

"That I'm sorry…"

"Exactly! And why?! I just fucking _kissed_ you Randy!"

"I know,"

"You know?! Is that all you've got to say? Why aren't you kicking my ass right now? Chucking me out? Don't you get what this means? We can never work together again, I certainly can't stay here tonight now, you're never gonna wanna speak to me again, I've lost my mentor, my friend, I've ruined everyone's lives, including my own, yet you're apologising to me?! I don't get it!"

"Cody… you're crazy! You're fucking crazy! Just shut the fuck up and listen to me! Fuck!" Out of sheer desperation Randy grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him again, but Cody broke free, pushing him away,

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

But Randy just stepped closer, closing the gap between them until Cody was pressed up against the wall, hearts hammering in both their chests as Randy leant forward again, and Cody held his breath and closed his eyes as he felt his lips pressed softly once more,

"Look at me…"

"You… you said you forced yourself on me…" he trailed off, and Randy pulled back, biting his own lip, waiting for Cody to figure it all out, watching his face as he unravelled it all in his mind,

"Well… I did, I kissed you first… every time…" Randy breathed the words, barely ghosting over his lips as he leant down, kissing him again, softer this time, and Cody didn't move,

"Wait, did you just say…what do you mean… you _told_ her?"

Randy shrugged simply, "Yeah," and placed another kiss lightly on the furrowed brow, following one after the other all the way down until they reached the waiting lips, slightly parted in anticipation, Cody's tongue darting out to wet them as his mouth suddenly went dry,

"I don't understand…" but the words were lost amidst the elated exhalation that escaped his lips as he let them be devoured once more.

After what felt like an eternity, Cody finally relaxed into the kiss, actually kissing Randy back, bringing up his hands to rest on his hips, pulling at the hem of his shirt. He was so desperate for physical contact, for reassurance and affection that he willingly gave his body and soul to Randy, unable to understand what was really going on, what was just happening between them. It simply felt so right, so natural that the voice of doubt in his head was muted by a mere touch, a hand on his neck, right over his pulse.

Gasping for air he moved away, leaning his fore-head against Randy's, taking shallow gulps of air as he traced the lines and patterns of his tattooed sleeves with his fingers, eliciting a soft moan from Randy who tilted his head to the side, flicking his tongue over his adam's apple before biting down gently.  
Cody whimpered weakly, clinging to his arms, fingers digging into the taut muscles.  
"I... Randy... I..."  
"What?" he whispered, only stopping to utter the word before he continued his exploration of the tan skin of his neck, trailing his lips down to his collar-bone, nipping at the protrusion.

Cody's head fell back against the wall, overwhelmed by the sensations and his emotions. Randy shifted against him, grinding their hips together, pushing him further into the wall until Cody wrapped his legs around his hips, his arms holding on to his shoulders. One hand started running up and down the side of his thigh, a wanton mewl spilling over his lips.

"I wanna hear you." Randy's voice was close to his ear, nuzzling into his hair with a sigh. "Don't hold back…" he whispered as he heard Cody's breath hitch in his throat, and he could've sworn he felt a strangled sob escape his lungs simultaneously. Stilling for a moment he ran his hands soothingly up and down from Cody's knee right to the tops of his shoulders, smooth, fluid, stroking motions that calmed the shaky breathing, "Let it all out…"

"I wanna feel you…"

Cody wasn't even sure he'd said the words aloud as he breathed into his neck, the hot skin against his cheek causing explosions to go off behind his eyes when combined with Randy's next words,

"Do it then, touch me…"

"Please, Randy I meant…"

"Tell me, what do you want Cody? I'll do anything you want, do you want me to stop?" Randy whispered into his ear as the thought suddenly struck him, but Cody's resolute "No!" and the way he suddenly clung on caused shivers to run down his spine.

He trailed his lips all over his face, soft gentle kisses, feeling every bit of skin they could cover, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake and causing a string of breathy, guttural moans to escape from somewhere deep in the very centre of Cody's being.

"No! I… I…"

Cody gasped as Randy's fingers entwined in his hair, pulling his lips back down gradually for a soul destroying kiss, "You can tell me anything Cody, anything you want, anything at all…"

"Randy…I… you… "

"Tell me…"

"You can fuck me… if you wanna…"

The words barely reached the air as Randy's lips devoured his mouth, pulling back to look into the petrified eyes staring up at him in awkward disbelief at what he'd just said.

Randy's heart almost broke at the sight and he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in, burying his face in the crook of his neck, chests flush,

"Just let me take care of you…" he kissed him again, trying to convey every single feeling and thought running through his mind with his lips alone, "I'm gonna take care of you, if you'll let me…" his words were interspersed with kisses as he emphasised his promise, "All… night… long…"

In a bold move Cody took Randy's face between his trembling hands, kissing him forcefully. "Fuck me." Grinding his hips wantonly against his thigh, his fingers trailing down over Randy's neck, chest and down to the belt of his jeans, tugging at it. "Fuck me."  
Randy stared at him, confusion written all over his face. "Have you heard anything I said?" He asked sharply, his tone hard. "Are you even listening to me, Cody?"  
But instead of an answer he was again kissed painfully hard, Cody biting down at his bottom lip, his body arching against his own.  
"Enough!" Randy stepped away, holding him at arms length; giving his shoulder a little push when Cody tried to close the distance between them. "I said enough!"  
Cody finally looked at him, really looked into his eyes, brows furrowing. "What?"  
"This is not gonna happen..." Randy wanted to add _'not like this'_ but Cody startled him by brushing against his chest as he tried to get away. "Cody... god damnit... CODY!"  
"What the fuck do you want?" He shouted, his lips trembling again. _'I'm not gonna fucking cry!'_ He really hated himself like this, so fucking fragile and on edge; he wasn't like this. Not at all. "What the hell do you want from me?"

Randy took a step forward, hand curling around his neck, his thumb brushing over the light bruises. "Cody... I..."  
"You obviously don't want to fuck me so..." He flinched a little when Randy pressed down on the darkest bruise accidentally and suddenly, out of nowhere, all he could hear were John's taunts and Ted's leering laughter, all insults directed at him. He couldn't hear what Randy said, he knew he was speaking because his mouth was moving but there was nothing but the blood rushing to his head, pounding in his ears.  
Pushing the hand away he threw Randy the angriest glare he could muster. "If you don't want to fuck me, then leave me the hell alone!"

"Cody…"

"Fuck off!"

"Wait…" Randy grabbed his arm as he made for the door, spinning him back round with such force they collided, chest to chest, and his arms came up again to hold Cody there, desperate to explain, but the mortified look on Cody's face as he tried to struggle out of his grasp made Randy loosen his grip in despair. But before Cody could bolt again, Randy returned the kiss Cody had given him only a moment ago, hard, bruising, biting his lip painfully hard between his teeth then lapping eagerly at the swollen flesh, the slight metallic taste filling his mouth.

Cody pulled away, raking the back of his hand over his mouth in dismay, surprise, distrust. The need to cry vanished completely and in its place was a fury born of pure humiliation as he finally exploded.

"I just don't get you Randy… what the fuck do you want from me? One minute you… you're gonna look after me all night long…" he air quoted sarcastically, "Then the next you're pushing me away saying I haven't heard a word you said when I decide to take you up on your offer? What the fuck?! You've just spent the last fuck knows how long convincing me you wanted me! I mean seriously man, what the fuck??! Did I really get it that fucking wrong? Huh?! Answer me godamnit!"

"Cody…" But Cody's eyes came alive with some sort of unspoken realisation and he cut him off before he could even get a word in edgeways.

"No! I don't wanna hear it! I get it! I finally get it, okay?! OKAY??!" He wrung his hands through his hair with a howl of frustration, "Oh my god, how could I be so stupid??! It was all an elaborate set up to get me back for fucking up, wasn't it??!" his hand inadvertently went to the bruises around his neck, "And congratulations! It fucking worked! I fell for it Randy! Hook line and fucking sinker, you got me! And I deserved it! I know I did, but I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! If I could take it all back I would, you know that…" his voice finally caught in his throat, hoarse and beginning to crack as he added quietly, "They were in on it too, weren't they? John and Teddy?"

All sorts of things were starting to add up in Cody's mind, adding up to the wrong answers entirely, "What more do you fucking want from me?" He sank to the floor, back to the wall and his head falling forward into his hands, suddenly no energy left to even stand, "Just leave me the fuck alone."

Randy stared at him for a moment before he sat down on the bed, his head in his hands. "I'm not leaving."  
Cody didn't even look up, sniffling back a sob. "Can't you do just one fucking thing for me? Just once?"  
"It's my room... and I'm not leaving." He said softly, explaining it to Cody like he was a child. "And I'm not leaving you... not like this."

The silence between them was deafening, neither saying a word or moving from their current positions. Randy simply accepting that Cody needed some time to collect himself and his thoughts and even though he'd ached to reach out and touch him, he knew to stay away, at least for now.

Meanwhile Cody's mind was spinning out of control, making connections when there were none, taking insults when none were given. The howling voice inside his head telling him that it was all his fault alone and that he deserved nothing better than this and that he should consider himself lucky to get off that easily. Punishment could've been so much worse now that he really thought about it.

"I... I'll have a shower." Cody muttered as he got up, pointing towards the bathroom but avoiding to even look in the general direction of Randy.

The older man nodded, running his hand over his face as he fell back onto the bed, without a clue on how to make things right or if he should really try at all. Cody seemed immune to reason lately, simply not listening to him, especially when it counted.

The water started running and he closed his eyes, conjuring up the image of Cody, standing under the spray... 'not the right time' he reminded himself quickly and stood up.

He slipped in quietly, the small windowless room heavy with steam, leaning against the door. Cody wouldn't escape now. He would force him to listen.

"You are not stupid. You weren't set up. And you got it completely wrong."

Cody tensed when he heard Randy's low voice over the rushing water, swallowing heavily but remained silent.

"I want you, that's the truth... but I don't wanna fuck you... I want you... but I want you to want it... not just to make you forget because that was what you were hoping for, right?"

He cleared his throat, giving Cody the option to disagree. "This isn't about some random fuck, you should know that. Not with you anyway... Sam and I... it's probably weird but she knows... and she's perfectly fine with it... and this is the first time I actually asked to use my wildcard... I want this. Don't ever think that I don't want you... I want you."

Randy looked up when he heard the smack of a hand hitting the wet tiles, seeing Cody's form slipping through the fogged glass of the shower door.

Without thinking twice he rushed inside, picking him up, wrapping him securely in his arms, the hot water drenching his clothes instantly. But it was the last thing on his mind, all he needed right now was here, looking at him with wide blue eyes.

Cody stared up at him, captivated by the water running over his face, dripping down his chin, the tiny drops that clung to his lashes. He reached up, cupping the slightly stubbly cheek, sighing when Randy leaned into the touch.

"I just don't know anymore Randy…" he sighed again, letting his hand linger a moment longer, fingers trailing over his jaw line, watching Randy's eyes fall closed at the touch before letting his hand fall away, "I wanna believe you…"

They stared at each other through the torrent of water, Randy holding him and Cody trying to decide what to think, what to say, what to feel, he didn't want to get hurt again.

"You're getting wet…" he remarked wryly, letting a finger roam over the sopping wet fabric of the tshirt plastered to Randy's pecs, his eyes following the way it clung to his stomach as he slowly stood, abs visible through the material, a small patch of skin appearing as his waterlogged jeans hung low, sodden material heavy, revealing dripping wet hiplines.

"I hadn't noticed…" he held out his hand to pull Cody to his feet, and they stood chest to chest as both wondered what to do next.

Cody traced the path of a droplet running down into the waistband of his boxers as Randy reached to shut off the drenching flow, his eyes watching Cody's, trained on his abdomen. He peeled off his shirt, slowly raising it over his torso and dousing his head with rivulets as the material flapped, wringing it out a little before tossing it to the floor. He watched Cody watching, his eyes fixated on the movement, and he let his hands linger on his belt buckle for a moment, slightly pushing down the waistband a little further as if to gauge how far he should go. But Cody seemed to snap out of his trance with a slight intake of breath, shaking his head as he went to step past Randy and out of the cubicle, wrapping a fluffy white hotel towel around his waist and keeping his back to him.

"You should get out of those wet clothes before you catch your death…" he murmured, rubbing another towel over his hair to hide his flushed cheeks.

Randy did as he was told and dropped them to the floor, kicking his shoes off and hanging them on the towel rail. Cody had turned around to hand him a towel, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of the boxer clad ass bent over to pick up his soaking socks, before straightening again and easing his boxers down with difficulty, stepping out of the transparent white material.

Cody struggled to tear his eyes away from the naked flesh, his arm still holding out the towel as he waited for Randy to take it, hurrying out of the tiny room as soon as he did, the cooler air of the other room causing goosebumps to break out across his hot, flushed skin.

He felt Randy approach behind him," We need to talk…" he said quietly, his arms encircling him from behind, and Cody let himself melt back into the hard, warm body as he nodded, a million questions fighting for dominance in his mind.

"Tell me about Sam…"

Randy gently pushed him towards the bed, sitting down across from him on the other running his hand over his head.

"After I got kicked out of the Marines... I bounced around a lot... relationship-wise, knowing that there was something more, something I was missing and then I met Sam... in a fucking bar of all places... she wouldn't buy my bull-shit for one second and I found it so easy to be true and honest with her, she never even thought about judging me, she just listened and we ended up talking until 7am in the morning."

He smiled fondly at the memory. "I think it was the first time I really was in love and there were no secrets between us... I couldn't keep anything from her and somehow she always knew me better than I did."

Cody nodded, exhaling slowly. "You love her."

"Yes... with everything I have... you see, I didn't even need to tell her about what happened before I met her, just a moment of hesitation and she knew and told me that it was alright."

"Was it?"

Randy shook his head, looking at him with a shimmer in his eyes. "Not really... I was always afraid that I'd lose her when I screw up somehow... but through everything that happened she stood by me and when I proposed to her... she gave me this wild-card, you know. Telling me that she wants me to be happy and that she knows that it wouldn't be enough, saying that she'll be fine with whatever way I choose as long as I'm honest with her."

"Were you?"

"Always... I held onto that card until yesterday, Cody... I called her while you were in the gas-station."

Cody gulped, staring at him, "What did she say?"

Randy actually laughed at this, leaning over to brush their lips together, "Please tell me it's Cody... that's what she said... seems like she knew all along... that I was only hoping for the slightest chance with you."

Biting his lip, Cody found his eyes fixed on his naked feet, unable to look Randy in the eyes, not after this confession.

"I plan on taking this chance, Cody... I do."

The determination behind those words made him shiver, goose-bumps spreading all over his body. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being honest with me." Cody mumbled and finally managed to meet Randy's gaze.

Again the large hand curled around his neck. "I want you to be honest with me as well."

After a long moment, Cody gave him a nod, smiling a little.

"You know the first time I knew I was gay?" he asked suddenly, "I was 12, maybe 13. We were at the highschool one Friday night, sitting under the bleachers playing truth or dare. I had to kiss this girl named Chelsea, she was popular, pretty, blonde, everything. And the thought of it made me cringe and I didn't wanna do it. I must've hesitated longer than I realised, had a look on my face that showed how much I hated the thought of it or something, cos next thing I know she's saying _what's_ _wrong with me she's not gonna bite_, _or am I just a fag?_ And everyone laughed. So I spat in her face and ran away. I didn't speak to her for four years. By that stage I'd realised it was better to date the pretty girls than spit on them, and it worked in my favour, letting them think I was a total gentleman while I was at it… never laid a damn finger on them, their parents all still love me…"

Randy laughed, gazing at him affectionately, "So you built up a little collection of covers? A little blonde barbie doll harem?"

"Heh, yeah I guess…"

Randy hesitated for a moment, biting his lip before finally asking, "And Beth?"

"Well… I dunno," Cody sighed dramatically, "I think at first maybe I thought she was different…that there was something there, more than the others. But I guess she was just the last in a long line of many…"

"She never really appreciated you the way you deserve anyway…"

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno… forget it."

"No, tell me…"

Randy sighed, not meaning to open that can of worms, "Well, I… look…" He thought over the time he'd heard her bitching about Cody in the canteen, to the time she'd ripped his head off for not calling on time when his battery was dead and not believing him when he called from Randy's phone instead and tried to explain, all the times she'd talked down to him in front of everyone and treated him like a child rather than a lover…

"It's okay Randy, I know. She was more concerned about accusing me of preferring your company than she was about actually spending time with me…"

Randy nodded, "Yeah…" fully aware of her conversation with Sam along the same lines, asking her how she could stand it, making Cody out to be some kind of starry eyed fanboy.

"So…" he tried to steer away from the full on bitch session that was on the tip on his tongue, all the things he'd kept to himself about Beth ready to spill, but he refrained, that was the last thing Cody needed to hear right now, "Did you ever get to act on your real…"

"Nah."

"So you never dated any guys?"

"No way! How could I? Did you?"

"Dated? No. Never."

"What about fu…"

"Nope, still never have."

"But you wanted to?"

"Yeah. A few times. I kissed one guy, once. How lame is that huh? One guy… I actually really liked him…"

"What happened?"

"We were seen. I got kicked out of the marines." Randy looked upset, ashamed even, his eyes down as he fiddled with the bedspread, "He did the time, shipped out, I refused to cooperate… he tried to contact me, then I stopped hearing from him…" he looked up briefly, a shadow crossing his face and he didn't need to continue, "No one knows about that…"

"Shit…"

"Yeah."

"Except Sam…"

"Yeah. And you…"

They were silent for a long time, lost in their thoughts, memories from the past, when Cody suddenly spoke up, a small smile on his face as he flipped onto his belly and rested his face on his arms, looking at Randy sideways through his lashes,

"You know that was the first time I realised I wanted you? When I saw that photo your dad sent mine, you were in your marines uniform, I thought you looked so fucking hot, so grown up. I took it," he admitted with a cheeky smile, "I still have it now. I used to keep it inside my closet. I think my mom might've known… anyway… I ignored it as best I could. But the first time I really knew, was when I watched you win the title that first time. I was so scared to talk to you backstage… that's how I knew. I'd never been scared to talk to you before, but that time I felt like, if I did, then you'd _see_ it, you'd _know_, and you'd never talk to me again. But then, you DID talk to me, not just like, _oh hey kid whatever_, you like, welcomed me like a long lost friend…"

"Well you were!"

"But I didn't think you'd… I dunno. I felt so, my heart was beating so fast and I was all sweaty. I couldn't stop thinking about you for weeks, months… I felt so proud of you, that feeling never left, even when I came up to the roster. You had those pink…"

"Salmon…"

"Salmon trunks on…"

"And the world's biggest boner…"

"Yeah, hehe, I noticed that,"

"How could you not?" Randy waggled his eyebrows at him with a smirk,

"Heh yeah true, it was right out there for the world to see man. I still have that tape you know, and I bought it on dvd..."

"I still remember what you were wearing that night…"

Cody looked up at him in alarm, "Huh?"

"Yeah, it was when you had that blonde hair…" he watched Cody blush from his roots to his tips,

"Ohmyfuckinggod I can't believe I did that!" he groaned in embarrassment, "I looked sooo gay… like a fucking boy band!"

"I thought you looked incredible!"

"You did?"

"Yeah, I hadn't seen you in ages, and well, the last time you'd still been, you know, just a kid. But Cody, that night, I was stunned! I'm not gonna lie, you'd grown up man, you had all these muscles out of nowhere, your skin was so tanned and with your hair that colour… _fuck_ I didn't even recognise you at first dude, you looked so much older than other guys your age… I was watching you with your friends, they all seemed like such nerds next to you…"

"Hey!"

Randy chuckled, "I know I know, you're still a nerd too, despite how you look…"

"Hey fuck you buddy! We're not nerds…"

"Whatever, anyway, let's just say I was doing my best to keep my belt in front of me when I was talking to you… I didn't realise way back then what I know now…"

"What?"

"That I even wanted you way back then. I just thought it was still the adrenalin from the match… and how proud I was of you, you'd obviously been working so hard… in my head there was no way I could allow myself to have thoughts like that, not about you, practically my little brother. But don't think I didn't notice you that night, cos I did."

Cody shifted uncomfortably, Randy's words blowing his mind, "Wow…"

"Yeah, wow, that's what I was thinking too."

"And Sam… she's… I still can't believe she's somehow okay with all this…"

At that exact moment a buzzing sounded from the bedside table, Randy stretching over to look at the screen as his phone flashed. "Well," he smiled, "Why don't you ask her yourself?" He hit the green button and thrust the phone to Cody's ear before he had a chance to react.

-"How's my favourite stud tonight?" Sam's cheery voice reached his ears. "Any dirty details yet? I wanna know!"-  
Cody's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Uh... hi Sam... it's... it's... err... Cody."

-"You're answering his phone already... aww... that's cute... so how are you?"

"Randy's getting dressed." Cody shot him a glare across the room, facepalming himself, "Uh... no... no... I didn't mean it like that... Sam... please... he just had a shower! Sam!"

The older man started laughing loud when Cody's face flushed a shade darker than before, earning him a pillow tossed at him, hitting him square on the chest.

"Oi!"

"Sam... please... he's laughing at me and making fun of me... no, I don't think that's funny... not at all... and my face is not burning!"

-"As if Cody, you can't fool me, I can feel your flaming red face through the phone." her tone became serious, "How are you? Randy told me that you had a rough time lately."-

Thinking for a moment he picked at the towel before answering, "I'm fine really... just a bit much lately, that's all."

-"Is there anything else on your mind, Cody?" she asked.-

"Actually... err... yeah... Randy told me about the wildcard you gave him... and... and... shit this is awkward... are you really... I mean... are you sure... I... I... just don't... I want to believe him but... I guess I need to hear it from you..."

-"Yes, Cody... I gave him that free pass... I know that he would never cheat on me but there's more to him than what we have and it'd be ignorant if I refused to see that and assumed that it would never happen because I know it will... it'd be unfair to hold him back and not let him experience the things he needs."-

He nodded, exhaling slowly, "Nothing happened so far, Sam... I just need you to know that... I'd never... I mean, he kissed me but I couldn't... because of you, and I want you to know that I never want to hurt you or endanger you and Randy…"

-"But you wanted it, right?" Sam quipped fondly, the smile evident in her voice, "And I appreciate your concern but I herewith give you permission... you'll be his first... I hope you know that."-

"I do." Cody licked his lips, shifting on the bed. "He told me."

-"Good... and just so we're clear... if you hurt him, you'll have to deal with me." she chuckled, "Just don't tell him that I just threatened you a little... I can see how much you care about him but I love him and don't want him to get hurt."-

"I understand." He mumbled, giving Randy a quick shrug at his raised eye-brow. "And you are really okay with it?" He simply had to ask, doubting that his disbelief would go away anytime soon.

-"I'm perfectly fine with it... I was really hoping that it would be you and not some random guy... you have no idea how much he cares about you, do you?"-

"N-no." Cody whispered, stunned yet again. "Really?"

-"He was so excited when you made the roster, hun... he wouldn't talk about anything for days... all he was yapping about was _'Cody this' _and_ 'Cody that'_... how well you had developed and much he fun he had hanging out with you... it was really cute."-

"Uh... yeah... really?"

-"Stop doubting yourself... I'll leave you two alone now... good night!"-

Cody ended the call, raking a hand through his damp hair, closing his eyes when Randy sat down next to him, nuzzling his cheek.

"Are you okay?"  
"Yeah... I'm fine."  
"Good... that's good." Randy tilted his head, leaning in for another kiss.

Sighing in relief, Cody relaxed back into the pillows, a sense of calm coming over him that he hadn't felt in a long time. "She's amazing." he gushed suddenly, her words still resounding in his ears.

"I know," Randy cupped his cheek, leaning in for another kiss as he smiled down at him fondly, loving the look of exhilaration and amazement on Cody's face,

"I totally get why you love her so much," he said seriously, "I think I might be falling for her too…" he smirked as Randy raised his eyebrow at him,

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well you just make sure you keep your hands to yourself when you meet her next then," Randy smiled, letting his hand run over Cody's chest through the sheet as they climbed under the covers.

Cody's face was instantly serious again, "Oh yeah," he was nervous about going to St Louis in two weeks time, he wasn't going to lie, but he really wanted to make a good impression.

"Don't worry, she won't bite…"

"I know… it's just that, won't it be kinda…"

"Awkward? Weird? Yep, I reckon it probably will be. For the first few seconds at least." Randy pulled Cody into his arms and kissed the top of his head laughing, "It's so fucking weird, how excited she is! She already loves you to bits, she's been badgering me to properly meet you for ages now, I finally get why, so don't worry. I think the worst you've got to look forward to is being fussed over and adopted as her new BFF,"

"Oh."

Randy laughed again, "And we obviously have the same taste in men cos she's constantly telling me how gorgeous you are,"

"Is she?!"

"Yeah," Randy kissed him again, nuzzling his face into his hair and taking a deep breath, loving the feeling of having him lying there in his arms, just holding him, being together, and happily reached over to switch off the lights, "Don't look so surprised, it's fucking true."

"Oh…"

"By the way, what time do you fly out? Eleven?"

"Yeah…"

"Cool, we'll have time for more of this in the morning then."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And you know what?"

"What?"

Randy placed another gentle kiss on his temple as he felt the warm body snuggle further in, drawing his arm around his middle, "I think maybe everything's going to be okay,"


	4. Chapter 4

THE STATE THAT I AM IN

pt4

….

It was two weeks later when Sam stood in the arrival lounge, watching people walk through the doors and their faces light up as they spotted their loved ones in the crowd. She didn't normally wait at the airport for her husband to come home, but they both knew that this was going to be one of the biggest weekends of both of their lives. She bit her lip, almost squealing in anticipation as she spotted him and he scooped her up into his arms, practically crushing her against his ribcage before setting her back on the floor.

"I love you so much," he whispered in her ear, stroking her hair and cupping her face in both his large palms before kissing her sweetly. "And you," he was instantly crouching on the floor, unbuckling Alanna from her pram and cradling her against his chest, "How is my sweet little angel? Daddy has lots of presents for you," he was rewarded with a finger up his nose and a mouthful of drool down his collar as he smiled happily, kissing her hair and frowning at Sam shaking her head as they made their way to the exit.

"What?"

"Stop spoiling her!"

"I'm not! Anyway, it's my job. Oh hang on babe I just remembered…" he headed off the duty free store in a hurry, Alanna in one arm and pushing his luggage on the trolley with the other. "Watch this a sec? They were all out inside so I had to come pick it up here…"

She stood watching as he headed straight over to the perfume counter, Alanna still firmly clasped to his chest as he handed over a receipt, flashing her a killer grin as he waited patiently for his purchase. She laughed to herself as she watched him talk to their baby when he thought no one was looking, and he took her breath away with the special smile that lit up his face when he stopped to spray something from an unfamiliar bottle on his wrist, holding it up to his nose on the way out.

"Here," he handed the bag over with a grin, "I noticed you were almost out,"

Her heart swelled at the gesture, the fact that he even knew which was her favourite let alone that it was nearly empty making her melt a little. "Aw baby, you're too cute," She stared straight into his eyes as she took his hand, lifting his wrist to her nose, "Mmm, gorgeous, I can't wait til he gets here…"

He smiled up at her as he strapped Alanna back in her pram and slung his arm around Sam's shoulder, finally heading to the exit, and the start of the next chapter of their lives, both knowing their unity was stronger than ever, and things were only going to get better.

…

Cody all but fled from the car he had shared with Ted to get to and from the signing before EC on Sunday night, ears red from the constant teasing and his mood nowhere near calm and collected. Frankly speaking he was shaking with fury. But he couldn't punch Ted again especially not with hundreds of fans armed with cameras around.

So he had smiled politely, signed things until his fingers hurt and tried his best to ignore the things Ted threw his way. Still he was pissed and feared he'd explode any second, not exactly the best condition to meet Randy's wife and daughter. He hurried to his room, stripping out of his shirt to quickly change into a fresh one. Why the hell was he so nervous? Randy had promised him that things wouldn't be awkward and he'd had lengthy phone conversations with Sam every other day but his heart was still pounding hard against his ribs and his hands were sweaty.

He wiped them on his jeans just as the elevator opened, catching Randy and Sam as they walked into the lobby arm in arm, Alanna clinging to her father, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. His hand hovered over the 'close' button for a moment, finding himself unwilling to disturb the picture by stepping into their lives.

"Hey Cody!"

Too late for that now. He gave them a small wave, walking over to them. Hadn't Randy promised him that it wouldn't be awkward? He'd been lying obviously.

Cody was so caught up in his thoughts that he couldn't quite stop the little yelp that escaped him when Sam tackled him. He locked eyes with Randy pleading for help, but the other man was watching on in amusement, mouthing a _'you're on your own now'_ at him.

"Oh, Cody!" Sam held him at arms length, beaming up at him, "It's so great to finally meet you in person... how are you?"

"I'm fine... thanks." He stuttered, suddenly remembering that he had manners. Somewhere. "It's great to meet you too, Sam."

Sam looked from him to her husband, smiling brightly. "I get what you see in him... he is cute."

While Cody wondered just how red his cheeks could flush, he was surprised to see Randy's cheek tinge a little. But it might have been simply the light in the lobby.

"How about you and I go and have a late lunch... I saw a nice diner down the street while Randy and Alanna spend some time in the park?" Sam said as she pulled Cody over to Randy. "He tells me you like banana pecan-nut waffles."

Cody groaned, remembering just what had happened at the other diner but gave her a nod and an encouraging smile, "Sure, I'd love to."

….

Sam hooked her arm through Cody's as they strolled down the street towards the restaurant. "So Cody…" she started carefully as they slid into a booth in the window,

"Yeah?"

"How was the signing?"

He shrugged, "The usual, busy."

"Ted giving you a hard time?"

"What makes you say that?"

"We ran into him out the front earlier right when you guys got back, I saw you take off…"

"Uh…"

"He couldn't wait to have a go at Randy, right in front of me, making all these snide remarks you know, about the sanctity of marriage, the eyes of the lord…" she rolled her own eyes to show what she thought of the whole thing, but Cody was mortified, it was one thing taking the shit himself but the last thing he wanted was Sam to deal with any of that.

"I'm so sorry…"

"Hey, it's not your fault honey, and don't worry, Randy ripped him a new one." She smirked sideways at him, squeezing his arm affectionately, "He's good like that."

"Heh, yeah I know."

"I bet you do! It was so funny though, he's about to start swearing his head off, then he looks down and covered Alanna's ears before he let him have it, '_you have no fucking clue what you're talking about, it's none of your business, ra ra ra…_' I was trying so hard to keep a straight face at Ted's reaction, he looked scandalised! It was awesome."

"I just can't believe him…"

"Don't worry, he wants something to talk about? We'll give him something to talk about."

"Huh?"

"Don't look, but he's across the street now…" she reached for his hand, "Follow my lead," she whispered, her eyes alight with mirth, and held his palm against her cheek, giggling and kissing his knuckles, lacing their fingers together and stroking down his arm.

Cody did his best not to burst out laughing and act natural, completely failing, so she picked up a bread stick and shoved it in his mouth, getting a whiff of the inside of his wrist as she leant forward.

"Oh, hey, come back here a sec," she inhaled deeply again, closing her eyes and looking up at him through hooded lids, "Mmm gorgeous, Randy doused himself in this at the airport the other day,"

"He did? Why?"

"Why do you think? To remind himself of you of course, silly. And he had his special smile on while he did it too,"

Cody was blushing profusely, Ted staring at them through the window completely forgotten, "His special smile?"

"Yeah," Sam held his hand properly in earnest, "The one he always gets when he's thinking about you, his Cody smile,"

"Oh…" Cody had no idea what to say to that, and luckily their food came to distract them for a moment or two as his head spun with this new information and Sam continued.

"I think I knew before he even did, you know? I could always tell," Sam continued, breaking up some garlic bread and pouring them both generous refills of red wine, "I mean I love watching you both on Raw, I've got it all recorded, you guys together, wow, that sexmatch you had the other day…"

"Sexmatch?"

"Yeah, oh my god I'm still recovering from the overload of hot!" She gushed, pretending to fan herself, blowing out her cheeks as she winked at him, "And you know, Cody this is all my fault really 'cos Randy was convinced you'd never be interested in him, I had to show him all the promos, made him watch it all back until he could see what I see…"

"What? Uh, what do you see?" he stammered, staring at her in a fairly large amount of shock,

"Well, you know, the air practically sizzling between you for starters," she was waving her fork around as she talked, the other hand still on his arm, obviously very animated and excited about the whole thing, "and it's not like you ever shied away from the way he always touches you is it?"

He took a big gulp of wine and glanced out the window at a blur of blonde heading at a furious pace towards the window.

"Oh fuck,"

"What?"

"Beth."

She froze, pasta speared and paused halfway to her mouth, "Ohhh,"

They stared at her through the glass as she glared at them from outside like some kind of weird silent mannequin stand off, before Ted came and pulled her away, giving their clasped hands a quizzical double take on the way past, before they descended into a fit of giggles.

"Well shit, that went well!"

Sam refilled their wine-glasses after she had calmed down enough to move her hands without trembling from the laughter that shook their bodies.  
"I never liked her." She said matter-of-factly, gauging Cody's reaction at the statement.  
Cody blinked at her, missing his fork by inches. "What makes you say that?"  
"I admit that I never got to know her properly but I don't want to; not after what Randy told me about her anyway."  
"What did Randy tell you?" Cody asked, it was the first thing on his mind.

"Just how she overreacted on things that shouldn't matter, little things... unimportant things that shouldn't matter when you love someone... like Randy... he never rinses his coffee cups and just leaves them in the sink." Sam smiled fondly. "But he never does it before he leaves for work."  
Cody swallowed down his food, looking at her curiously at the idea of Randy being all domestic. "Why?"  
"Coffee cups in the sink mean that he'll be right back..." She shrugged a little, blinking. "He's the same with you... your little OCD with a certain candy."  
"I don't have OCD!" Cody spluttered out, shocked at the accusation. "I don't have OCD! I don't!"  
"So you wouldn't call picking out ALL green and blue m&m's before you eat even one not... a reason for concern?"

"It's... it's not like that!" He started grinning when Sam did. "The food colour's probably really bad... we just don't know it yet... I'm careful!"  
"Which is why you leave them for whoever is rooming with you or you are sharing a car with?"  
Cody held up his hands. "I don't make 'em eat them... their choice!" Pushing the wine-glass over the white table-cloth, he looked at her. "Tell me about Beth... why... why don't you like her?"

Sam exhaled slowly, closing her eyes for a moment. "Are you sure you want to know... I don't want to upset you."  
"We're over." He assured her. "I can take it."  
"Fine... Randy's gonna kill her if finds out..."  
"He doesn't know?"  
Sam shook her head, never breaking eye-contact. "I couldn't tell him... he's so protective of you... he cares so much... he wouldn't have been able to think a clear rational thought and... I couldn't tell him. Sometimes I wish I never overheard them in the first place."

Cody nodded his understanding, wetting his lips. "I'm ready."  
"It was at the Hall of Fame ceremony last year... and I accidentally overheard her and McCool talking... something about how she plans on stopping with the birth control and getting pregnant... Michelle asked her how she wanted to go through it because it's common knowledge that you don't want kids of your own and why she's even with you... and..." Sam gently put her hand on his. "She said that it'd be perfect to get back at her ex... make him jealous." She grabbed his trembling fingers, pressing a soothing kiss in his knuckles. "I'm so sorry, Cody."

He sighed long and hard and put his head in his hands, "Yeah, yeah I kinda already knew about that…"

"You did? What happened baby?" Sam looked as upset as Cody did as he looked up, giving a small self conscious chuckle,

"Well she kinda told me herself…"

"What?"

"I don't think she remembers the conversation to be honest… she'd been out one time, came back real late and totally off her face, accusing me of all sorts when all I'd done was sit in the room with Randy playing Mario Kart the whole night…" he laughed hoarsely, "Which makes sense now why she acted the way she did… but anyway, her ex, he wanted kids, she didn't, that's why they split up, but her priorities changed when he suddenly wanted a divorce, his new woman willing to give him what Beth wouldn't, so she suddenly changes her mind… and I'm totally the bad guy of course, 'cos I said all along I didn't want that, I'm too young, I'm just not ready… then she tells me she'd 'find a way'… I wasn't sure what she meant exactly, I mean she was drunk, she was talking all sorts of crap, she passed out after that… Anyway, a month later McCool comes up to me out of nowhere and smacks me one across the face, saying I'm a heartless bastard and how could I? I had no idea what she was talking about! Turns out, Beth told her she was pregnant, and that I didn't want it, and that when she told me I hit her so hard she lost the baby…"

At Sam's gasp he turned to her imploringly, "It was bullshit Sam, I'd never…"

"Oh honey… I know, I know you wouldn't…" Sam just held his hand, holding her breath and looking utterly mortified as he continued,

"…and I confronted her, I mean I _had_ to know… and she said she terminated the baby 'cos of what I'd said before…"

"But I thought Michelle said…"

"Exactly! So I told her that… and reminded her of what she'd said that time, and she just broke down, she's suddenly telling me she was desperate, she just wanted him to see she'd moved on like he had, she admitted the whole thing was…"

Sam was suddenly on his side of the booth wrapping her arms around him, "Baby…"

Cody sighed heavily, "It was all a lie. So that's when she went to Smackdown, we uh… agreed it was for the best, you know?"

"Yeah… I think that's an understatement and a half honey…"

"Well, yeah." He gulped into her shoulder, drawing back to look at her, "Randy doesn't know…"

"It's okay, don't worry…" she patted his arm again and smiled sadly, "Hey, how about we get a big fuck off sized plate of waffles then go get him, huh?"

"Man, that sounds like a plan…"

Meanhwile Randy was in the park with Alanna, enjoying the first rays of sunshine in the crisp February air, watching a dog-owner playing with his Jack Russell, making the little girl in his arms squeal with delight. In moments like this he felt completely at peace with the world and himself, hearing his daughter laugh; to have her so close was rare and he cherished each second of it.  
But his mind kept wandering back to whatever Sam and Cody could possibly talk about on their lonesome, wondering if it really was a good idea to leave his two... he searched for the right word, sighing... his two _loves_ alone like that, though he had no doubt that they would get along just fine, he knew how much Sam adored Cody and how effortlessly Cody could form a friendship.

"Randy!" Ted's voice called from the other end of the path, interrupting his moment of serenity. "Randy!"  
Shifting Alanna in his arms, he turned around, trying to keep his expression and voice calm even though he was still pissed that Ted had dared to have a go at Sam like that when they arrived at the hotel.  
"Hey Theodore." If anything should indicate that you weren't his favourite person it was the use of the full name, but Ted didn't seemed fazed one bit. Was he ever? Randy's eye-brow shot up when he saw that Beth was just a few steps behind him, a clearly displeased frown etched on her face. "Beth."

Ted motioned towards the near-by bench. "You better sit down."

"I'm fine standing... what's the matter?" He said sharply, turning his attention to his daughter when she started wriggling in his arms, her little hand pointing at the dog. "Maybe when you're big enough so that they can't accidently eat you, princess."

"Do you know where Sam is?" Ted didn't wait for an answer. "Do you know where Cody is?"  
"Uh..." Randy stared at him. "Even if I didn't know... what's it to you?"  
"Because we saw them... getting all cosy and lovey-dovey in the diner down the street!"  
Randy bit back a laugh. "I'd consider getting my eyes checked then."  
"They were holding hands, Randy!" Beth exclaimed, her voice shaking. "I don't know what Rhodes's playing at but it looked like he was making a move on your wife... or Sam wants another man."

If Alanna wasn't in his arms, he would've been very tempted to yell at her for even suggesting that Sam would cheat on him.  
Rolling his neck, Randy took a deep breath. "Listen... I don't know what you saw... but contrary to you... I trust my wife... and I trust Cody. You should try it some time."  
He stepped away from them, ignoring their gaping stares as he continued to watch the dog jump around on the grass, nuzzling Alanna's cheek.

"Try what exactly?" A voice piped up from behind them, Ted and Beth spinning around aghast, a smirk working its way across Randy's lips as he turned, Sam standing there with a defiant look on her face, arm in arm with Cody who was pointedly ignoring the others and just smiled at Randy softly as they locked eyes.

"There you go Ted, why don't you ask them yourself?"

"Wh..uh…" Ted faltered a little as he looked between them, not sure what to do, eyes nearly falling out of their sockets as he watched Sam lean in to kiss Cody on the lips.

Her hair fell across her cheek and she wrapped her arms around his middle to whisper, unseen behind her hair, "Take Alanna for me? Just to really confuse them…"

She took his hand and drawing him with her she walked into Randy's opening embrace, kissing him soundly before taking hold of her daughter. She kissed the top of her head and placed her in Cody's arms, one arm going back around his waist as she leant her head on his shoulder, regarding the onlookers curiously as she entwined her fingers with Randy's as they curled around her waist in turn.

"What's wrong?" she inquired innocently at their incredulous stare as they began to back away, "I thought you wanted to ask me something?"

"What the hell is wrong with you people?" Ted growled quietly, grabbing a near sobbing Beth by the arm and leading her away, looking back over his shoulder at the trio repeatedly as they all just held his gaze, before descending into fits of laughter as they finally rounded the corner.

"Oh man, that was just too funny…"

"Their faces…"

"Truly priceless…"

"So let me guess… I bet Cody and I are having an affair behind your back now Randy?"

"Oh you mean you didn't know?"

"And I wonder what else they may possibly be thinking now too?" Sam giggled, taking Alanna back and smiling widely at Cody,

"Oh you mean they didn't know Cody's Alanna's real dad?" Randy continued, he and Sam falling about in fits of laughter,

"Well, I for one don't give a fuck what they think, I'm so past caring…" Cody sighed, dropping to the grass and throwing the ball that had just landed at his feet for the rapidly approaching dog.

Sam ruffled his hair sadly, exchanging a glance with Randy, "I think I might just go see if I can get Alanna some icecream," she said, placing her back in the buggy and kissing them both, "I'll see you guys back at the room, yeah?" She smiled down at Cody, ruffling his hair again as he looked at her in confusion.

"Sure…" Randy sank down beside Cody in the grass as they watched her walk away, taking his hand briefly between his large palms as he regarded him in concern. "You okay?"

"Yeah… yeah I'm fine," Cody met his eye for a moment before feeling himself falter under the intense stare, "I guess I'm still a little, I dunno, overwhelmed…"

"It's okay, there's no rush… for anything,"

"I know… I know but… I mean, I don't think I'd mind if there was… you know?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Randy your wife is amazing…"

"I know."

"I can't believe she's giving us this chance…"

"I know. It's a little uh, mind blowing…"

"But I want you to know, I'm definitely gonna take it," Cody placed his hand on Randy's thigh, squeezing just a little for emphasis before drawing away.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Blue eyes bored into each other, radiating an intensity and heat almost capable of wilting the grass beneath them, and Randy's smile illuminated his face for a moment before he turned serious once more. "But first, Codes, I want you to know…"

"What?"

"Well, you're bound to meet new people… you might find someone else… and I understand…"

"Someone else?"

"Yeah… it could happen any time,"

"Randy, no, why would I want someone else?"

"Look I'm just offering you a way out, 'cos we both know this is a pretty weird situation… if it gets too, I dunno, intense… I'm just saying I don't want to hold you back from finding love, happiness… whenever you want out, you're free to go, I'll understand."

Cody nodded, his hand making its way back to Randy's thigh again, "I'm happy Randy, and I don't want anyone else… especially not now… I just don't. Why would i? I've got all I want right here. All I need."

Randy couldn't stop his face lighting up again at Cody's words, looking up at him as he stood, holding out his hand, his eyes following Sam and Alanna as they disappeared from sight at the edge of the park, "But all _you_ need Randy, well, you don't see them often enough as it is, and I think I feel like some icecream too…"

…

They had a few enjoyable minutes together, talking lightly amongst themselves and forgetting about the world around them.  
Cody was unable to tear his eyes off Randy, especially when he was with Alanna; seeing him so relaxed, calm and content was something rare, something he hadn't witnessed all too often until now. In fact he was sure he could count the few occasions on his hand.  
The eerie state of bliss however was interrupted when Randy's phone started blaring and he quickly put Alanna into Sam's arms again before he walked outside to take the call.  
Sam and Cody watched him pace on the side-walk with growing worry.  
"It's probably work related... you should go out and talk to him."

Cody sighed. "Too late for that." He motioned towards Randy who was just walking back to their table. "What's the matter?"

"Change of plans..." He cast a quick look around the small café as he leaned closer. "We're having a match on Monday..."

Cody's jaw fell open. "Wh-what? Why... what?"

"And you'll win."

Sam's hand ran soothingly over his arm. "I'm sorry hun... Cody..."

He nodded, hands fidgeting. "I know that I'm supposed to intefere with your match tonight... but they didn't say anything about that in the last meeting..."

"Some last minute changes..." Randy rolled his eyes, "From what I gathered they want you to choose Ted's side... instead of mine."

Cody stared at him for a moment, struggling to process the information, "What the _fuck_? How... _shit_... oops, sorry Sam... I can't work with him... not at the moment at least... all he's done these last few weeks is make snide remarks and be a cruel pain in the... you know where!" he finished in a whisper as Alanna gazed at him solemnly throughout his sudden outburst.

Three pairs of eyes regarded each other sadly for a moment, all wondering what this new development might bring for the future of their new, but already tightly knit family.

-

Randy stretched his neck one last time as the stage-hand knocked on the door of his private locker-room. Sam was sitting next to Cody on the comfy couch, the flatscreen in front of them.  
"Take care out there." She whispered when Randy leaned down to kiss her.

"I won't be long... you know that."

"I'll be worried anyway... you know that." She quipped back at him.

"Cody will take you to the entrance when he has to get ready..."

"I'll be waiting for you, take care."

Randy kissed her again before moving over to Cody, stroking his neck as he kissed him as well. "You make sure that she's safe."

Cody nodded, tongue darting out to run along his lips where Randy's had been, "I will."

Sam stared at him for a few seconds, as he in turn stared after Randy as he left the room, "Damn," she finally managed, shaking her head a little with a giddy chuckle, "That was… _damn_!"

"What?" Cody looked at her nervously, suddenly worried Randy may have miscalculated his judgement in giving such a public display of affection.

"I mean,_ wow_, I'm kinda speechless…" Sam hurried to reassure him, putting her hand on his arm as she fully turned to face him excitedly on the couch, "I mean I knew it'd be hot, but.. just, _wow_!" she exclaimed again, smiling brightly and Cody blushed furiously under her wide eyed gaze.

"Uh.. I uh…" he really didn't know how to respond to an outburst like that, his own eyes widening in disbelief as he heard her continue,

"I mean I've pictured it a million times, naturally, and more," she giggled at him, "But in the flesh, wow, seriously that made me go all kinds of funny! I think I might be having some nice dreams tonight!" she elbowed him in a nudge nudge wink wink fashion and got up, pulling him from the couch, laughing even more at his incredulous expression as he stared at her like she was mad.

"I think I love you," was all he could manage as they heard Randy's music hit, and she dragged him over to the flatscreen to watch their man in action before Cody had to interfere.

Arm in arm they stood watching, Sam intriguing Cody more and more as she happily encouraged a joint perve at her husband, pointing out how good his butt looked here, and his facial expression there, the tensing of taut abdominals and steely glare, the both of them so caught up in their swooning and mutual admiration they were completely oblivious to the disbelieving stare of the blonde standing frozen outside in the corridor behind them, peering in through the crack in the door.

Cody's eyes were fixed on the screen, his arm comfortably curled around Sam's waist as he counted the minutes until he was supposed to make his grand entrance and ruin the match for Randy. It bothered him more than he had let on earlier, he was beginning to hate this story-line with each passing day; fully aware that it wasn't going to get better anytime soon as Creative would surely drag it out for all it was worth. Not to mention that'd he be spending more time with Ted and less with Randy. He was so lost in his own drifting thoughts that he didn't feel Sam tensing in his embrace, startled when she spoke up again, her voice icy and hard.

"I suggest you either come in and watch the match with us OR you could just go to the Diva's locker room... your choice, Beth."

Cody turned his head, finding his ex standing in the doorway, arms crossed in front of her chest with the scowl she had usually reserved for the times when she was pissed - most times at him.

"You've got anything to say?" she hissed,

"What could I possibly say, Beth?" Cody asked, shielding Sam with his body. "And even if I choose to say something... I don't know what makes you think that what I do now is any of your business."

The sarcastic "oh please" from her mouth was enough to make Sam's blood boil, gently pushing Cody out of her way as she closed the distance to the blonde with a few steps.  
Beth was about to open her mouth, glaring down at the much smaller brunette but Sam stopped her.

"Don't you even dare to interrupt me now... who do you think you are? Spying on my husband, on Cody, on me? Disturbing Randy when he's spending time with Alanna, talking about things you have no clue about... you have absolutely no idea what is going on and it doesn't concern you..."

"But..."

"Don't come with the lame excuse about Cody's well-being... he's so much better now... if you really cared at all you would've seen what you've done to him... how much you've hurt him... you have no fucking right to care!" Sam finished, slightly out of breath as Cody's hand settled on her shoulder. "What is it, hun?"

"I have to go now... I promised Randy to make sure that you stay safe." Cody linked their fingers together, kissing the back of her hand as they walked out of the locker-room, leaving Beth standing in the doorway. "Thank you."

"Always... I protect my family."

They walked to the entrance ramp in silence, Cody focusing on getting into his stage persona, grudgingly taking the steel pipe from one of the stage-hands.

"You know that I hate this." He muttered under his breath, waiting for the signal.

"I know." Sam sighed heavily. "I'll wait here for you both."

The next moment Cody ran outside.

…

Sam felt a presence behind her as she stood with her eyes fixed to the ring onscreen, and turning slightly she found the amused eyes regarding her from between twin curtains of dyed black hair, the thin lips twisted into a smirk as they sucked the lip ring in and out between his teeth. Sam actually felt a shudder run through her and narrowed her eyes in near revulsion as he came closer,

"I don't believe we've had the pleasure," he held out his hand, twin black crosses marked on the white tape of each wrist, she shook it reluctantly, "Phil,"

"I know, Sam,"

"I know," his smirk only grew as he chuckled to himself, "Oh yeah, I know more about you than you probably realise, Randy's got himself a right little livewire hasn't he?"

Sam felt a shiver of near on fear run down her back at the words, dripping with what he probably thought was charm but came across nothing short of smarmy arrogance. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Sam scoffed in disgust as he ran a finger down the bare skin of her arm,

But Phil only laughed again, "Oh, Beth told me everything, all about your little, secret…" Sam's eyes widened momentarily but she kept her composure as she waited to see exactly what it was that Punk thought he knew, "About how Randy's not enough for you on his own…"

Sam almost snorted in surprise as she scoffed derisively at him, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I know all about you and Cody, Beth saw you, she told me…"

"Did she now? And what exactly did she tell you? Huh?" she lowered her voice to a throaty husk, "That I like it two at a time? That I let Randy bring his friends home to share me, to fill me up?" She moved closer, whispering the last in his ear despite every fibre of her being screaming for her to run away, but the frozen shock of blonde hair standing behind them in the corridor spurred her on,

"Oh believe me baby," Phil practically purred in response, trailing his greasy fingers through her hair as he leaned in, their bodies impossibly close together, "Those amateurs will be the last thing on your mind once you've had a taste of a real man, 'cos honey, I can promise you now that I'll be more than enough to fill you right up all by myself,"

The resounding gasp from behind them rang out around the concrete walls, and Phil stepped quickly away in time to see Beth disappear in tears round the corner, he stared after her for a moment, hardly even a second of guilt consuming him before he smirked again, turning back with a swagger ready to spout out about how that just proves his point, "See the reaction I have? When they find out I've moved on…" but the smirk was wiped from his face the instant he turned back to Sam, just in time to see her curl into Randy's embrace as he stepped back through off the ramp. The menacing eyes radiated nothing but utter disregard and the smirk left Phil's face only to re-established itself on Sam's as Randy led her away back to the locker room. The last thing Punk heard as he stared after them, was the growl in his ear just before the punch connected with the side of his face,

"You just count yourself lucky that it was me and not Randy that overheard your little performance there Phil, if I ever catch you even looking in Sam's direction ever again, you will not live to tell the tale," Cody stood over his prone body for a moment, heaving torso glistening with sweat and fury as he stepped over him, following Randy and Sam back to their room.

Sam and Randy were quietly talking to each other, voices hushed as they stood together in a close embrace; Randy's arms wrapped securely around her.  
Cody felt like he was interrupting a moment that was solely between them and he considered leaving them alone and shower in the locker room with the other guys. Just as he was about to grab his bag and head out the door a small, soft hand curled around his wrist holding him back. "Stay, please."  
Swallowing the lump in his throat Cody nodded slowly, setting his belongings back onto a near-by chair, accepting the hug from Sam, holding her for as long as she let him.

"Thank you." She whispered into his ear. "You'll take care of him now... promise?"  
"I promise." He kissed her cheek, startled to see her eyes shine a bit brighter than usual. "I'll see you soon, right?"  
"Sooner than you wish... Randy will invite you to stay with us for a few days... please say yes?"  
Again Cody could only nod, feeling like a part of his heart was leaving with her. "Take care."  
"You saw that I ain't afraid of no one... you should ice your hand though..."  
Randy leaned over to Cody, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "I'll just walk her to the car... I'll be right back."

As soon as the door was closed Cody headed to shower, washing down quickly as his thoughts drifted back to everything that had happened this past weekend. Wrapping a fresh towel around his waist he walked back into the locker room, looking up when the door opened slowly. Part of him was afraid that Beth or Ted or even worse Phil would try to take another jab at them.  
Instead he came face to face with Randy who held an ice-pack out for him. "You promised me you'd take care of her."  
"And I did... but you should've seen her getting into Beth's face and-"  
"Beth too?" Randy snapped, stopping mid-step. "When?"  
"Before we headed out... she was watching us and Sam called her on it... and ripped her a new one."  
"Good." Randy sighed, running his hand over his head. "Did you at least hit him good?"  
Cody held out his hand, grinning. "Yeah... I guess that's why it hurts so much."  
Randy closed the distance between them, kissing each knuckle before he put the ice-pack over his hand.

"Thankyou," he whispered, leaning down to lightly catch Cody's lips in a grateful kiss,

"She's an amazing woman," Cody's eyelashes briefly fluttered, splayed against the tanned skin as his eyes instinctively closed at the gentle touch,

"I know,"

"You're so lucky Randy…" Cody breathed, "I..."

But his words were cut off as soft lips captured his own once more, before pulling back to stare at him intently. "I know I am…" One hand curled around the familiar spot on the back of his neck as his gaze lingered on Cody's upturned face, caressing him with his eyes, getting lost in the moment as he studied the angelic features, until he realised Cody's expression had turned to one of confusion.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as Cody faltered under the intense scrutiny, one finger tentatively reaching to tilt his chin upward again,

"Nothing… just, you were looking at me kinda.. I dunno, funny…"

As Randy stared into his eyes, he hoped to convey just how lucky he really considered himself to be, "Sorry…" he murmured, "I was just thinking about… welll, you…"

"Me?" Cody's breath escaped him as again soft lips ravished his own, urgent this time, almost desperate,

"You…" the demanding lips barely left his own as the word was whispered into the air, "And how happy I am that you're here…"

Cody felt like the whole world was fading away around him, nothing else mattered except the man in front of him, whose arms around his body felt like home, whose lips against his own made him feel like life was finally returning to his carefully protected soul, his heart wrapped up in cotton wool for safe keeping and hidden from view, but now finally finding the courage to take tentative steps out into the real live world, and this was the only place he wanted to be. Forever.

…

As they emerged from an eternity of kisses that would never be enough, Randy reluctantly pulled back, kiss swollen lips eliciting murmurs of discontent and pulling into an instant pout of unfulfilled requirements. "You make it very hard for me to stop doing that, now that I've had a taste…"

"Sorry…"

Randy couldn't help but chuckle, caressing the prominent cheekbone under his thumb as a blush crept up the perfectly tan skin, "Don't be," he smiled, "I'm not." He cast his eyes towards the shower room wistfully as he picked up his towel, "We'll just have to remember where we left off…"

Cody's eyes had followed his gaze, and as he turned back he couldn't stop the sparkle from reaching them, "Or we can always start all over again…"

The smirk that lit up Randy's face was unrivalled as looked back at Cody in surprise, an eyebrow raised in question as to whether or not he heard right,

"Well…" Cody shrugged moving closer, eyes downcast bashfully, "That seems to be where we've had most of our important…" he looked up, stopping just before their chests brushed together and bit his bottom lip between his teeth,

"Conversations?" Randy breathed, voice hitching in his throat as Cody nodded slowly, Sam's words from earlier flashing through his mind,

"Let him love you tonight."

He knew that he already did, and a blush instantly rose up his neck as he stared after the already retreating figure pulling him into the back, and he couldn't help but think that actually, he was the lucky one in this, and he wouldn't change it for the world.


End file.
